Crack Slaw

I'm flying off across Brisbane to visit MeMum and hit all her tech with a hammer.

I also have to do Self-Shill Sunday [since Saturday was spent solely on cooking] and the daily Instant and queueing up tomorrow's Blasts From my Past.

And of course my compy likes to freeze at random times during all of this noise, delaying everything.

The good news is that the new batch of "muffins" seems to be a success. If burned a little.

To this bread recipe I did the following alterations:

• Measure the warm water as hot water and allow to cool
• But while it's cooling, steep a strawberry&mango teabag [You can use any aromatic tea that has strawberry as part of it] in that noise [because Miss Chaos does NOT like the smell of psyllium husk goop]
• four punnets of fresh strawberries [that's a kilo of 'em in Australia, do your own conversions], take the tops off 'em, blend half into goo, and chop the other half into chunks
• Mix the goo half in with the psyllium goo once your 'tea' is about room temperature¹ or a little bit warmer [of course take the teabag out & squeeze it, doy]
• Add the equivalent of a cup and a half of non-sugar sweetener to the coconut flour and stir in
• Also increase the amount of baking soda to 2 teaspoons².
• We also added 100g each of: dried berry mix, pure cocoa melts [break them up], dried apple slices [chop these up small!], and smashed walnuts.
• Which meant we needed about 125ml of real cream to make sure the mix was coherent.

I'm still working on the baking time [because burned muffins] but it's looking like twenty minutes for mini muffins and between thirty and forty for regular muffins. Always test and check.

I also learned that it's a bad idea to use a food processor to break up pure cocoa melts or chop up dried apple slices. Take heed from my mistakes, children. That noise will stick to EVERYTHING and refuse to go into the catcher area. Better off using a knife TBH.

BUT we got a "muffin" that doesn't smell bad and is acceptable in the taste department. Yay.

I got thirty-six mini-muffins and seven regular muffins out of all that noise.

All to help keep Miss Chaos regular.

She also loves the heck out of my variant on Crack Slaw. In which I probably overdo the vegetable content.

Because I'm allergic to roughly half of the Brassica family [the cabbage half] I have to make my own Slaw. This involves:

• Four carrots, grated 'chunky'³
• Half a red cabbage
• Half a sugarloaf cabbage ⁴
• One Quarter of a Wombok or Chinese cabbage [which is not really a cabbage]
• AN ENTIRE FIRKIN BUNCH OF KALE

For the leafy stuff, I take the yuk bits out of them and feed them through the fine slicer wheel of my food processor. Makes a Metric Fuckton of Coleslaw, and an Imperial Fuckton of Crack Slaw.

...which is all GONE before the end of the next day.