Become a Patron!

Boob Armour

A 1-post collection

Challenge #01113-C016: One Victorious Afternoon in a Battlefield

One of these days I wanna see a stereotypical-female-armor-design boobplate-clad character remove their helmet, and reveal they’re a man.

“Uh… well, Mom was a soldier, and since Sis was too young to fight, I got her hand-me-downs.” -- Anon Guest

The battle raged on, but it was clear that it was almost coming to a close. So far, one warrior left a swathe of ruined bodies behind her. People knew her by her armour. Delenna the Double Dangerous. Famous in story and song for her mighty -ah- mammaries. Certainly, she was a warrior of note, but the chest plating had to be taken out to accommodate her... chest... and still allow her room to breathe.

The enemy orcs turned and fled, leaving the standing army to lower their swords and take a breath.

Delenna staggered towards the tents, handing off her sword to an anxious page... and then her helmet to reveal that she was not, in fact, Delenna.

He was her son.

One of the healer mages happened to have the distinct lack of tact to say, "Man, you wear the armour of a woman..."

"Aye..." he panted. "Plate armour costs more than a pretty penny. Mama... you knew her as Delenna the Double Dangerous... She let me have hers. I was of a size in all places but one." He gestured at the ample chestplate.

"Can not thy sister fight in that suit?"

"Nay, she can not." He quaffed a cooling beverage, and did so badly, since most of it went down his throat. "My sister is but ten, for all that she shows promise. I must first pay for mine own armour ere I pass this mighty suit on to her." At last, he sagged into a waiting bench. "And Mama would not let me go out into battle unprotected."

"Have ye not thy father's armour?"

The young night laughed. "Father is a bard. He brings in the gold, aye, but he is also loose with his purse. Mama will not let him hear the end of it. I could sing for my supper but... my talent is better with a blade."

Pages unbuckled him, revealing a trim and able frame. Most of his bulk was due to the armour and padding.

"Aye? So let us hear thee sing, then. A merry song to celebrate today's victory."

He had been right. His talent was much better with a blade.

(Muse food remaining: 41. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)