Amalgam Universe

A 2284-post collection

Challenge #02094-E270: One of THOSE Customers

"I have one nerve left, and you're dancing on it with ice-skates on!" -- Anon Guest

It was supposed to be a five minute job. A simple reconfigure for someone new to this particular level of technology. It sounded simple on the request ticket. The first warning sign was his own pondering as to why such a nice old lady would have so many warning markers on her name and address.

Surely, it couldn't be that much trouble to reconfigure one app.

Rael would eventually learn not to think those words in that order. This was his first lesson.

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Challenge #02091-E267: Schrödinger's Bounty

"How did the cat get inside a locked cupboard?"

"It's an incomplete Schrödinger." -- Anon Guest

Krissk stared at his Human companion. "How is a thought experiment on the nature of the Uncertainty Principle at all related to the presence of a feline in a locked box with no other exits?"

Human Jan said, "It's because of the Uncertainty Principle that cats can teleport," with a completely straight face. "That's how they get into places and things that they physically should never

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Challenge #02090-E266: A Bond Cemented With Carbonic Acid

"I'm just joking!… Unless you're down for it." -- TheDragonsFlame

Evidently, Thrass had been contemplating too long. "I am still positing the logistics," she said. "I need time, please."

Human Josh quelled in her place. "Sorry."

Thrass and Human Josh had been through a great deal together. War, survival, relying on each other's strengths and supporting each other's weaknesses. They had really bonded on the long, exhausting, trying trip from the wreck of their ship to the relative safety of the Edge

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Challenge #02089-E265: Living Corbomite

"I don't know what is happening, but I don't like it"

"Why ?"

"The human is smiling" -- Anon Guest

One of their own writers said it the best: Never trust a creature that smiles all the time, they're up to something. And they were very, very correct. The most frequent portent of doom, next to phrases like, "Hold my beer," or "I think I know what I did wrong," is most definitely a Human smiling in a certain way for a period

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Challenge #02088-E264: Visual Aids

Just read and interesting science article about how Humans are actually Bioluminescent but we can't see it because our eyes are not sensitive enough.

How amazing would that look to aliens? Especially if it were different colours like the Naa'vi in Avatar -- Adam in Darwin

The most astonishing fact that the Scollarids learned about Humans was this: Humans can't see their own glow. These Deathworlders were on par with them when it came to surviving strategies. They did more with less,

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Challenge #02083-E259: Nonhostile Takeover

Their faces were caked with color, like they had heard of make up and tried to use it, but weren't quite sure what went where. -- OohLookShiny

This is space - theoretically, there's room for everyone. The only caveat is that most times, you have to build it. This is Ambassador Jess. She is negotiating with the owners of an otherwise boring asteroid so she can turn it into a semi-profitable habitat. This is the problem - the owners belong to Greater

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Challenge #02082-E258: Limited Universal Communication

what if memes are a totally human thing?

like we meet aliens and try to explain this cultural thing, and they have nothing to compare it to, they don't have self replicating cultural phenomena. -- Anon Guest

The Human tripped on their own feet, tumbled, but tucked and rolled and recovered their footing in one nearly smooth moment.

"Sweet flips," cheered a different Human.

"Got the moves like Jagger!" The initial Human did a weird series of gyrations, causing them to hurt

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Challenge #02081-E257: Young Game, Old Players

The thing most deserving of both respect and fear in equally large amounts is an old man in a place where they often die young. -- Anon Guest

Oort Herding is a game for the young. The ability to weave through free-floating bodies in the depths of absolute darkness, to spot a dirty snowball before the Hungry Caterpillar does, to do the necessary gravitational kicks to cometary objects and get out of the way in the correct direction, all needs fast reflexes

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Challenge #02080-E256: Station Cats

what would be a "normal" day for a cat in a space-station? -- Anon Guest

[AN: I originally thought - normal pet cat or Skitty? And then I thought... why not both?]

Pet.

The day begins with the rude noise as Elith's Feedme[1] stirs in their sleep nook. Elith used her claws to show mild displeasure at having her own rest disturbed by the movement of the Feedme. Not that she could stop the bald, two-legged creature. Feedmes were much bigger

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Challenge #02079-E255: Minions These Days

In a lab, an avian in a white coat with 'assistant' written on it has got a test tube in each hand while the researcher does her work. "What is he doing with those test tube?" "I'm helping Dr Susie !" "I told him that I needed him to hold those 2 important test tube and that one of them is highly poisonous and the other one is an unstable explosive. He doesn't know that's water." "Why ?" "Assistant, give me the explosive one.

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Challenge #02077-E253: How Sissyphus Rolls

the Galactic allegiance was used to most of the human emotional quirks, they knew about our anger, and packbonding, our mental illnesses like depression, and how small things and gestures can bring us joy, and especially our compassion. but they had never experienced human indifference. Especially when confronted with those that had caused great pain. Humans have the capacity to just not give a damn -- Adam in Darwin

Of all the Human reactions that could have occurred when the Vol'nath Empire

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Challenge #02073-E249: Audio Only

It went plonk, it went kablooey, it went shhhh, and it went blink.

But most importantly, it went whushhhak. -- Anon Guest

Sound was all that was left. The darkness was absolute, and Phel's ability to feel was impaired by the chemicals that the enemy had forced into hir system. Ze learned quickly how the Zebnaki pirates sounded when they moved, and also learned to avoid them. They had patterns of movement, too, and it helped.

Phel made it all the way

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Challenge #02071-E247: What it Was, What it is

"It's a family heirloom." -- Knitnan

Those four words, unfortunately, did not answer the question. It was old, Kelly could tell that much. It had been through much, if the uncleanable burn scars and dents were any indication. It plausibly had moving parts, but now they were mangled or rusted or fused shut. Whatever its original purpose was, it was now, effectively, a work of art.

"I get that it's old. I just wanted to know what it is. Or was. It

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Challenge #02070-E246: Noncogniscent, Noncommissioned Officer

How did Stabby (from Challenge #02032-E208) get his rank? -- さむらいでわない

Shipwide notice, said the message that went to all the crew. Any further referral to ship's equipment by any name is unauthorised. Only registered crew with names, ranks, and files in the ships' staff listings are permitted to be referred to by name, nickname, or rank.

Evidently, Captain Thork'z had grown tired of the Human crew chatting about 'Stabby', the altered vacuum-bot roaming the halls. Also as evident was the fact

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Challenge #02069-E245: And in This Labyrinth

[All libraries are connected, including bookshelves in homes. This is why book lovers like to keep their books in darker and quiet places. They know that not all Travelers can handle light.] -- Anon Guest

There is an ancient chain of logic that leads to the inevitable. Knowledge is power. To know is to have an advantage, yes, but there is more than one form of power... Power can become mass. Play around with Einstein's famous equation and one can convert energy

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