Today started as a 5% battery day. You know the ones. Your entire body feels too heavy to move. It's a task and a half just to breathe in. Building a pillow fort to hide in is just too much effort.
A very much dunwanna day.
I dunwanna get up. I dunwanna get clean. I dunwanna get dressed. I dunwanna bark the kids into getting ready. I dunwanna get dinner started. I dunwanna do anything.
What I want is some major-league me time and extended cuddles with Beloved. BUT... obligations suck.
Chaos needs new shoes. I need to find an agent who can handle my assorted madness. I WANT AN INCOME, DAMNIT!
And we all need a dinner where the instructions aren't "Add boiling water and wait two minutes".
So I did the whole 'uphill through tepid tar' slog where I made myself do all the nonse that I just dunwanna do. And though I didn't feel much better afterwards, I did treat myself a li'l.
You're going to be appalled. I can tell. But one of my lifetime pleasures is split pea and ham soup with buttered bread stirred into it to make a goopy, sloppy, slurry. If I can get away with it, stirring egg noodles into it instead of buttered bread is my idea of a fun time. I call it "Zombie Brains" and it is my all-time best comfort food.
Yes. I know. I've given all the foodies and all the flavour aficionados who actually read this part of my blog some serious nightmares. I'd apologise for that, but this is not a thing I am about to give up. Ever.
I can't do drugs. I'm allergic to alcohol. Leave me the vice of horrible, horrible food concoctions.
And I should celebrate a few things, really. Like - running out of readily available garbage to fill the daily bag that I've been filling in order to whittle down the scrattle in my house. I've passed the halfway point of clearing all the dirty cloth items off of my laundry floor.
But all I can focus on is how much of the house is still a sty. If I can stir myself, I might sweep the entire floor tomorrow. Doing the kitchen was something of a success. I managed to wow my little darlings into seeing the benefits of all this cleaning up we've been doing. Not that they're enthusiastic about continuing the cleaning, but we all have to start somewhere.
I dunwanna look for an agent. I want the agent to miraculously find me. But that's not how it works. Sigh. It's gotta be done and I'm the only me I have.
...yoiks and away...