Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #00988-B257: The Power of the Pointer

I have reason to believe that this lizard has acquired artillery. -- Anon Guest

Bullets splashed against the walls, just above their current shelter of a piece of their ship's ablative shielding. "Really?" said Hwell. "What was your first hint?" He flinched against the shower of shrapnel.

"I think it was when Gerih got shot in the leg. All wounds sustained thus far have been non-fatal."

Hwell rolled his eyes. Rhytidops were famously immune to sarcasm. He kept under cover and dug in his pockets. "Shield your eyes, please," he said. "I'm going to try something... human."

At least they understood what that meant. Risky, dangerous, and possibly borderline insane.

But if it worked, it would earn nothing but praise from his shipmates.

He waited until they had their eyes covered before he brought out the laser pointer. Wiggling the little red dot interestingly across the wall.

The lizard shot at it, and he wiggled the dot a little further away. Where the lizard shot it again.

Bit by bit, wriggle by wriggle, he lead the attention of their antagonist away from his friends. And himself. That was the truly important bit.

He was the last to flee the scene, desperately waggling his laser dot behind him as he hightailed it to the ship. Hwell was understandably out of breath as they launched.

"It really works," he panted, "on everything..."

(Muse food remaining: 14. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)


Okay so my own system has up and decided to lock me out. None of my passwords work at the mome. And if I can't log in to NodeBB, then I can't add comment abilities to my stories.


Patience, my dear readers. You will be able to comment again soon. Not that anyone has as of yet... Ah well.

This is going to take a bit of a while. I'm sorry.

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Challenge #00987-B256: A Question of Choice

“Yet another reason to not have children: You don’t want the batspider to visit you.” -- Anon Guest

"Bat... spider," repeated Hero. "I've never heard of the like. Is it a bat with spider legs, or a spider with bat wings?"

"It's like a Drider, but with the body, wings and head of a bat, 'stead of a drow," said the villager. "It takes all but one in ten of our children an' our idiot mayor thinks the solution is to have more babies."

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I'd say TGIF, but...

Fridays are my busy day. And on top of that, Mayhem now has Home Ec on Fridays so that includes a potentially budget-busting round of every parental's favourite game, What Do You Need For School Now?

I used it as an excuse to get Mayhem some First House stuff on the side. Dollar shops are an amazing source of cheap kitchen shit with a moderate amount of actual quality.

That said, never buy dollar shop tongs. Just... don't. Those fuckers will break or gain some other fatal flaws within days of purchase. Even if you leave it in the fucking packet until you need it.

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Challenge #00986-B255: What is 'Light'?

The continuing adventures of a human with a bunch of mole/bat people. As seen by the mole/bat people.

[NB - notify ChaosWolf1982 and ManyBlinkingLights]

[AN: I prompted myself because this was too good to pass up.]

Captain's Log, Galactic Standard Calendar 58430.03.2.05...[1]

In the spirit of further understanding between species, we are welcoming aboard a new crewmember. One of the Deathworlder species called 'humans'...

The airlock hissed. Captain K'rik waited for the sounds of its cycling to sound out the newcomer. A series of rapid, high-pitched clicks that revealed an astonishing form. Humans were taller than both Crystates and Pterops. Yet they had no observable ears or whiskers.

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Bargains! Bargains! Bargains!

I got $50 birthday money to spend irresponsibly, yesterday.

So of fucking course this morning, I made a beeline for the places that sell iTunes cards. I wanted an entire $50 card, not one in instalments.

And I'm kinda glad I did, because Target sold me a $50 card for $40 :D

I feel like a massive thief, now. But I'm still loving it.

And I still have $10 to spend irresponsibly.

I wonder if I can put a deposit on Steamworld Heist for my 3DS...

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Challenge #00985-B254: One Skull-cracking Morning in a N'Ozzie Holding Cell

What the Bleep! am I doing with a traffic cone, a black lace thong and a feather boa?

Two things were certain to Hwell. One: the light hurt. Two: it must have been one hell of a night, last night.

"You understand that I only call him my 'business partner' because it is forbidden to label cogniscents as 'lucky pets'." That had to be Ax'and'l. Urgently distancing himself from Hwell's previous revelry and subsequent swathe of damage.

If, however, the swathe of damages also included a significant profit margin, then Ax'and'l would be quick to volunteer for his share.

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Random reasons to love Steam Powered Giraffe #11

David's Vines.

Vine is the video clip equivalent of Twitter, and trust me, it's an art form. Users have six seconds to tell a story and some of them are pure genius.

[It's my first time embedding vines, so stand by...]

All three of these are fandom classics, but there are tons more. You can check out his Vine artistry here. Trust me, it's worth the trip.

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Challenge #00984-B253: Party Zone, Fun City.

Party zone, fun city, playtime for (so called adults). You can concentrate on either the goings on or the consequences. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Hope you don't mind, but I fixed the obvious typos]

You could call it a fun park, but it was closer to being an entire metropolis at this stage. They called it Fun City, and it contained every kind of enjoyment there was for an adult to indulge in.

There was the Spa Quarter, the Movies District, Shotgun Alley (where cleared patrons could paintball each other into oblivion through several imaginary scenarios), the Gambling Dens and, of course, the Party Zone.

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Fuck today in particular

Okay, so here's everything that's gone wrong so far...

My phone got pocket-dialled onto Silent mode so I didn't hear the alarm letting me know it was time to hustle the kids off to school.

I got notified about this when Chaos' bus people called and asked what was going on. We were an entire hour late.


Hustle the kids and their gear into the car at warp nine. Spend three minutes trying to start it. The fucking thing's broken down.

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Challenge #00983-B252: A Need Like Breath

A story about Medjed -- Anon Guest

What a thing is life, for a god.

Belief is food and air. Believers, feeling and form. Love... O my children, love is what a god needs above all other things. You could call it 'drug'... but such as I prefer 'blood'.

Without love... gods fade.

In my first time of glory, I was not well known. I barely appeared at all on walls or scrolls. The pieces of me... drifted. Hardly noted. I was barely in existence. I lingered, in limbo. Not alive, yet not forgotten... yet.

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I've been thinking about Wonder Woman...

Primarily that she doesn't get the love she plainly deserves. She gets none of her rich history explored and definitely doesn't get her godhood acknowledged.

I have yet to see how she's going on the screen in Batman V Superman but I'm willing to bet they're going to get it all wrong.

And let's face it. The last attempt at a television series with her failed abominably, and I know why. They gave her the Batman treatment.

If I was doing Wonder Woman (either for a TV series or for the silver screen) I would not go directly to wealthy and powerful. I would start with the hidden island of Themyscira and a little glimpse into a society made entirely of lesbians. Thanks to satellite technology, it's pretty impossible to have a hidden island, so of course magical juju is allowed. These ladies have figured out the secret to godlike powers and know that they are not meant for the hands of man... yet.

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Challenge #00982-B251: Abandon Hope, Ye Who Enter...

That same prompt from Challenge #00891-B160, but this time the FAQ is posted for the benefit of assassins, on an Overlord's (Evil or not, your choice) office/chambers. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: That prompt read: FAQ Assassins
- Business hours are 9:00 to 5:30 - Please deposit last will and testament in box below - Knock and remove shoes before entering]

They said Lord Mavolo's temper was legendary, but this... innocent-looking little plaque... It made Goodie Dowser think twice about her petition. Well, it did for five seconds, at best.

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Happy birthday to me

This is the third year I've given away a story on my birthday for free. I have quite the stable of free tales but this is more introspective than most.

When you look at society, really look at society, you discover a great deal of unfairness based entirely on things an individual can not help.

Skin tone - society judges you within thirteen seconds and that prejudice remains. The darker your skin, the more threatening you are to paler people.
Genitals - you bet society is going to discriminate on that. If you have one set, you have all the advantages, if you have the other, you get all the judgement. And unwanted attention from the advantaged set.
Mental disorder - if it shows, you're going to get judged, babied and mistreated. If it doesn't show much, you get condescended at. If you can successfully hide it - you're faking and you don't need help.

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Challenge #00981-B250: Who's There?

Growing up with cats and dogs. I got used to the sounds of scratching at my door while I slept. Now that I live alone, it is much more unsettling. -- Anon Guest

Pinky was my best cat. Sure, he was ginger, but he was a weird ginger. Some aspect of his fur colour made him look pink in the right light. I've had guests mutter, "Holy shit, he's pink..."

He was my best buddy. And if I left him out of my bedroom, he would just... keep scratching at my door until I let him in.

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