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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.


Before you ask - yes, I successfully cleaned off the table. It was a royal mess. From now on, only organised mess is allowed there. I will keep only the things I really need on the table [eg: seed beads and the findings I am using that day] and the rest of it will be off to the side in a Milk Crate or something. Assuming I can find a full-sized Milk Crate that I don't have to purloin.

All the ones in the Itty Bitty Bins line are too small. And having cardboard lying around encourages cockroaches.

I might also have to get my own extension cord. Because the power points in this house were not planned for nerds who need everything plugged in. IF I ever get another house, at least one room is going to have a dedicated power strip. Fuck it. ALL the rooms in my fantasy house are going to have dedicated power strips. So there.

In my dreams, I am a bajillionaire, and I can do what I want.

Meanwhile, in reality, Beloved and I have plans to go see the nice people at the Apple store about a $600 strap-on brick they sold us. Yes, my iWatch is busted beyond our ability to press buttons on it and all it can do is show me a BSOD. In this case - the Black Screen Of Death.

I'm temporally challenged, but I'm pretty sure I've had this thing for less than six months. That's beyond shonky. If you sell me a watch for $600, I expect it to be made entirely out of diamonds or to last the rest of my life. And maybe some other generations as well. This has done neither.

Beloved is mostly backup. Well. They paid for this thing. And pretty much the same ideas might be in their head. I dunno.

Apple might give us their favourite run-around. Make an appointment. Turn up on time. Have your appointment get "mysteriously" un-noted despite using both the app and two free roaming vapours er... sales assistants to help make note of it. Make a noise in a nice loud voice so that you finally see an expert about an hour late.

Okay, so that only happened once, but by gum, it was a pain in my anatomy. And it's been my only experience at wrangling help out of an Apple store. Let's hope the second one doesn't follow the first.

Challenge #01299-C204: Explosive Food

Popcorn, either as an edible explosive or semi mindless entertainment. KnitNan

The human had hung up a hand-made sign - Explosive food preparation in progress before they produced a device and a package of dry, yellow seeds.

"Your pardon, cogniscent An'dee?" said Plyq'ix. "What is meaning, 'explosive food'?"

Andy had a very simple explanation. "It goes bang."

"Dangerous bang?"

"Surprising bang. Harmless, but surprising."

The machine whirred into life and the grains poured in. For a while, nothing much happened but rattling and whirring and then...

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Today's the day!

The big pile of shiffraff on the dining table is going DOWN. I already successfully cleared off all of the dirty cups, bowls, plates, and cutlery. Now it's just the crafting scrattle that has to find a home. And, after a clean and wipe down, I will set up my earring-making station in a more logically amenable place.

This might take some jiggery-pokery. But at least my budding business and the family will be able to cohabitate.

Today is also the day when I write 1K words into my novel so that I don't have to do it on Saturday.

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Challenge #01297-C202: On the Shoreline

1) Someone goes into labour in the vicinity of the grim reaper. Reaper panics. ("This is not my job! This is the exact opposite of my job!")

2) No seriously I'm not a magic tree I'm a creature that happens to be stuck inside a tree listen it's a long story do you have an axe -- Anon Guest

[AN: This brings the gap count down to 7!]


Despite what various media might say, Death never takes a holiday. Ze can, occasionally, take a respite. It was a lovely sunny day and people were out doing their everyday things. Some people were strolling whilst others jogged. Some were sitting and reading. Some were sitting and doing things on their laptops.

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::static sounds::

I don't know what it is with me, today, but I have the attention span of a hyperactive kitten and all the focus of the bottom of a coke bottle.

I am most definitely off station.

Case in point: It's half-nine and I am only just now writing this blog. I apologise in advance if today's free fiction is lackluster.

Most, if not all, of today's creative energy is going towards Beauties and the Beastly because I insist that my novel writing is top shelf. Maybe I'm too picky, but things like continuity errata and mischaracterisation are things that happen too much in your average novel.

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Challenge #01296-C201: Coat of Paper, Coat of Fur

"And she swore she would never eat another strawberry!" -- OohLookShiny

The assembled crowd of children turned to stare, open-mouthed, at the Silent Princess. Her name, insofar as anyone could understand her pantomime, was River. And she was living under a curse.

Beyond that, and her dislike of strawberries, everything was up to anyone's guess.

River shook her head and her hands danced. They danced to say, You have everything wrong, but they danced to people who did not understand the movements.

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Adventure ho!

It's another long day for me, alas alack. Another long drive to Maroochydore. Another long drive back home to arrange a dinner.

Thank the Powers for slow cookers. They have saved my butt on a multitude of occasions.

And tonight's goo will definitely be helped by the existence of rice from last night. Huzzah.

Once again, I will be travelling across the countryside with my trusty lappy, long may it stave off malfunction. Writing my 500 words in a distant place and hopefully getting them done and saved to the cloud without any worries.

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Challenge #01295-C200: Pray What You Eat Lets You Live

Fast Food franchises for Aliens. -- Anon Guest

Excerpts from A Traveller's Guide to Galactic Spaceports[Written before the advent of Unsuitable Food]:

If you are the kind of person who does not eat what they cannot identify, then beware. You may starve to death. Once you leave the realm of your familiarity, you will find all manner of things that could be edible if you are brave enough to face it.

That said, beware of attempting to purchase anything living. There are many forms of pets, and there are many more forms of adoption. That creature that resembles a pig just might be a cogniscent infant.

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I can do this...

I'm getting better, so that means it's time to get right back onto my self-maintenance. But not so harshly that I fall over again and cause an endless cycle of sickness and recovery.

I did my first morning walk since I got ill, last week. Just around one block, and at a nice, leisurely pace. Chaos came with and was inappropriately loud for 6AM. Repeatedly.

But I did hatch some eggs, and that's good enough for me. [for the record, I got a Geodude and another Bulbasaur]

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Challenge #01294-C199: As the Station Turns

Aliens are exposed to Soap Operas and get hooked. -- KnitNan

Storytelling was not a new thing. Those species with the gift for inventing stories were more likely to find welcome, despite their status amongst Galactic Society.

Only humans had managed to conceive of a story with infinite potential to continue.

Some alien species had managed to decode the Terran transmissions, and eventually decoded the language as well. They thought it was an anthropological study of one particular human clan.

What they didn't know, until it was too late, that it was a continuous human storytelling technique known as the Soap Opera. That information arrived in the form of roaming human storytellers who recognised the technique.

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My head hurts. It's a struggle to breathe. I basically spent most of yesterday having naps and I was still tired enough to sleep through the night.

I have thorough plans to be as lazy as I can so I can save my spoons for the rest of the day.

And I will be sticking myself on Max for a saline run that should help loosen any glunk that's impeding my air.

Just... not now. I have to raise my batteries a little before I go do that.

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Challenge #01293-C198: Those Who Remain

Prompt: A segment of the population does not believe anyone ever walked on the moon. Some probably do not believe their species ever gained space travel. What happened to them when so many members of the population left for the stars? -- Anon Guest

Space was hard to ignore for a conspiracy theorist. It was impossible for humans to leave the Earth. Simply impossible. The fact that so many of their fellow humans were doing it was not a fact at all.

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I hate being sick.

My head feels like a swamp has moved in. I feel like I can't breathe, but my nails tell me I'm getting plenty of air. I can't get comfy. My back hurts from lying down. It hurts when I'm sitting up. I want to hibernate the lurgi away, but I can't get to sleep because everything hurts.

How soon before I can transfer my thought patterns to a machine?

I'm'a try a nap. Story much, much later.

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Challenge #01292-C197: The Best Place by the Fire

There's got to be one species that's impressed by storytelling even if it's not solely humanity's "thing" in amalgam -- Gallifreya

One good thing you can plausibly state about humans is that time spent with them is never boring. Of course, that was their chief combination of blessing and curse. They were never boring.

Most species took to space for reasons of economy. Things on their homeworld were no longer easy to obtain. Yet there were metals in abundance out in space. Few at all went to see what was there.

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Lazy day, but with errands

I'm taking it easy, but I need to go out and fetch a few things because Mayhem's lurgi is going around and has hit me upside the head with a sinus full of mucous.


Seems to always be the way. I'm within grasping distance of accomplishing neatness, I go down in a heap and suffer. Despite my best efforts to do otherwise.

But in the middle of wanting to burrow into my Pillow Fort of Solitude(tm)... I came up with what might be a brilliant idea. A social media platform that links up those who need with those who need a job.

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