Become a Patron!

Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01837-E013: The Helpful Cup

Hot sweetened tea and maybe a biscuit or sandwich will help to solve most problems. -- Anon Guest

In the grand scheme of things, Britanians never expect much out of the Tea Lady. Some sage advice, a rambling story about their youngest, and, of course, tea. If you knew how to play your cards right, you might get a Jammy Dodger or a Scotch Finger. That was the way it had always been. Until Ambassador Harry.

So far, she had helped the odd little alien stabilise their atmosphere regulators with duck tape, fixed the fans with a hairpin, and disarmed the alien security measures with one of her support stockings. Now they were at the ships' power, Sai'dut was looking rather upset.

Harriet Jones frowned a little. This sort of insect creature had been friendly and open enough, but now she worried that something was amiss. She was still using her business manners, and therefore acted like a kindly grandmother type despite being not nearly thirty, just yet. "Something wrong, love?"

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 17 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

::muttered curses::

Stackedit is no longer my favourite editing program because it sucks now.

Basically, it doesn't like any file much over 25000 words and its save function doesn't. This, as you can imagine, puts a serious crimp on my style. Especially since my aim is generally WAY more than 25000 words.

I started writing this thing on Novl'r as a way of keeping my shit together. Then I 'ported it to Stack so I could work on it at a professional level.

Now

Read more »

Challenge #01836-E012: Debunked Beliefs

Non-human sentients are used to thinking of humans as impossibly durable daredevils of highly questionable sanity. However, historical human science fiction, pre-first contact, typically has humans depicting themselves as either ordinary everymen and everywomen in a world full of sentients who were stronger, smart, harder to kill, and/or had space magic at their disposal. Humans were surprised when their cynicism didn't play out. Aliens are shocked that humans could have ever considered themselves as such. -- Anon Guest

"And this one

Read more »

It is way too hot

January is the hottest month of the year in Australia. No argument. Nobody will fight this. Whilst the northern hemisphere enjoys a dusting of snow, winter's chill, and global warming denials, everyone in Aus is gently roasting in one way or another.

We went to see Coco during the heat of the day. The best time to watch a movie in my opinion. Alas, Miss Chaos panicked and got upset during the third act. It's bad. Or it was bad this time

Read more »

Challenge #01835-E011: The Caring Gap

Their world was games, and Facebook and selfies. Then they wound up in an emergency ward and discovered electric lives are no substitute for the real thing. -- Knitnan

[AN: You clearly have no understanding of modern connectivity. AKA: "You dang kids get off of your social media and get a real life!" ::shakes cane::]

Alice was technically a Cam Girl and technically a Gamer. In reality, that meant grinding assorted games for a pitiful income per game per hour, and taking

Read more »

Getting there

I just cleared two hundred stories in the editing of One Year of Instants (2017). And in the middle of a Queensland Summer, the best time to do that is when I wake up at fuck-off in the morning.

Tomorrow, I will get up to three hundred. And the day after that, I shall reach the end of all the stories and footnotes, and then I get to see if I did it right.

If not, I have to spend another early

Read more »

Challenge #01834-E010: The Stakes

A wager will often get results when pleading fails. -- Anon Guest

One has to be wealthy to be eccentric. If you're poor, you're just odd. People could tell that Felwar Nassidd was an eccentric from a long line of eccentrics. The first dead-giveaway was the name. The second was their Wagers of Benevolence.

They laid a two hundred billion dollar bet that a town wouldn't be able to completely convert to green energy, and feed the populace proper nutrition at the

Read more »

The persistence of footnotes

I got to work just after I woke up, this morning. So that I would have the time and the energy to go edit One Year of Instants (2017).

And it worked. I got 100 stories sorted out and the footnotes done.

But I'm also pretty much blasted.

The kids' school books are ready and I shall have to collect them. We're out of absolute mountains of stuff. And I know for a fact that Beloved just won't get it without me

Read more »

Challenge #01833-E009: Revenge is Purring

If you truly hate someone give them a baby bear. Comment from Historical source. Nobody mentioned Bears just get big. But what if you give them a pregnant female house cat? -- Anon Guest

Across societies, across worlds, there are things that could be counted as gifts - but definitely aren't. Drum kits for the hated one's children. A bear cub. A baby ape. A dragon's egg. All of those and more can only be called trouble. And then there is the

Read more »

Best-laid PLNs

Yup.

Things have gone agley again.

Beloved booked my car in for new tyres and the soonest they could get was next Tuesday.

So their day off has changed. My opportunities have changed. And so have my PLNs.

So now I'm spending a day at home with Chaos, since Mayhem is back to his traineeship, this week. Dinner is going to be something quick with mince and possibly riced cauliflower. We don't have a lot, but I can probably whip up a

Read more »

Challenge #01832-E008: Rightwise Born... er... Monarch?

"Whomsoever shall pull this sword from the stone is rightwise born King of England."

"Oh! Lookie! I've pulled it out," she said. -- Anon Guest

She was short. She had the sort of chubbiness born of years of feast and famine, with the body deciding to set up ample stores in case of famine. And she was clearly a scullery maid in the entourage of one amongst the many knights, ne'er-do-wells, and nonesuch that had gathered to try their luck.

The maester

Read more »

So close...

When I started Keto, I weighed eighty-eight point eight (88.8) kilograms and believed I would never get lower than eighty neat.

This morning, I hit seventy-one point two (71.2). That's a little over seventeen and a half kilos that I thought I would never shed. And further - I am one and a bit kilos away from my goal weight.

On my Keto-versary, November the 22nd, I had successfully shed fourteen and a half kilos of that seventeen I've dropped.

Read more »

Challenge #01831-E007: It's Not a Good Night...

Orange traffic cones which mysteriously appear after drunken parties, and other weird stuff the clean-up crew encounter. -- Knitnan

Of all the unexplainable phenomena in the known universe, the most unsolvable is that of humans and spontaneously-manifesting traffic cones. They only appear when everyone at the party is too inebriated to recall where they came from, and no means of recording said party have ever picked up where they come from. Even security cameras can't catch their appearance. Whenever the cameras are

Read more »

Feeling scummy

So. Yesterday was not my proudest day. As you know, I had a prompt with paedophilia right the fuck in there, and I have yet to back down from a challenge. Even one that makes me feel like I just ingested the liquid grossness that you find in the bottom of a garbage bin.

I do not support, condone, or excuse paedophilia. I do not believe in any of the excuses I wrote, yesterday, nor do I support them as arguments. Just

Read more »

Challenge #01830-E006: The Important Stuff

When two humans have animosity between them, their crew mates get very nervous. Just yesterday, Human Marty discovered Human Seth was attempting a mating ritual with their offspring... -- Anon Guest

[AN: One of the good things about my future is that Pedophilia is eradicated on all but a few, really skeevy colony worlds. And those ones have an underground railroad thing going on to make sure the perversion dies out. Also -dear Nonny- I do not appreciate the implication that gay

Read more »