Become a Patron!

Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01660-D199: Explosive Egress

[Scientist #1]: Where'd you get plastic explosives?

[Scientist #2]: Made it.

[#1]: It'll work?

[#2]: See, you don't worry if explosives work. You worry if they'll work too much. -- RecklessPrudence

V'tez considered their options. The downside of this situation was that they were trapped by a meteor impact and all methods of communication were cut off. There was only so much air, even in their livesuits. The odds of the ERT's finding them in time were remote.

And V'tez was working with Human Rik, the only staff-member crazed enough to work with volatile chemicals. Come to think of it, making explosives was probably a relaxing break from Interestingly Dangerous Rocket Fuel[1]. At least plastic explosive was stable until set off with a charge. In fact... making things explode on cue was more or less Human Rik's area of expertise.

"I would be more concerned with it not working," confessed V'tez, "but this is you we are talking about. Can you be certain it works as expected?"

Support me on Patreon!

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 10 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

OMG it's too late

I tried asking. I tried explaining. I tried flat-out telling my Beloved to do the thing.

Beloved.

Just WON'T.

Help.

Unfuck the garage.

I told them, because the cleaning company told me, that any extra time on the unfuckening in there would end up costing us more than the usual. I did not tell Beloved that I'd already taken money out of the other bank account to cover the cost of tomorrow.

Maybe I should have. I still have today. So does

Read more »

Challenge #01659-D198: Kind and Dangerous Stranger

Never annoy a sleeping dragon, for you are fat and crunchy, and taste good with BBQ sauce! -- Fliss

At first, she thought it was a lava flow. One of those ones where the lava ran under a relatively whole, cooler skin. It was warm enough to be one. Then she noticed the way it flexed rhythmically, and realised that, in fact, this was a sleeping dragon. Fire was their element and this black-scaled beauty was no different. Their skin luminesced as

Read more »

Unfuckening incipient

I've just been informed that the garage unfucking will cost $90 extra, which I am taking out of the other banking account because (a) I have it there and (b) the way our budget is, we can't afford to do it any other way.

I also owe Mayhem more money for services rendered.

In health news, the soonest I can see my preferred quack is next Monday. The good news is that I haven't had a major asthma flare-up in a long

Read more »

Challenge #01658-D197: Fallen From Grace

It’s like they used the power of righteous hatred the same way some people use the power of love. -- RecklessPrudence

Some hated him because he had committed treason and bragged about it. Some hated him because of what he had done to his wives. Some hated him because of what he said. Most hated him because of what he had done. They had cause to hate each other, but the hatred of the man who claimed to be their leader

Read more »

Can I breathe now?

This morning was havok.

I'm still doing Chaos' hair up in a series of chained topsy tails in order to prevent little creatures. And that segmenting, combing, and topsy-ing takes a fair whack out of my warning.

Getting Beloved to help out on a regular day is not exactly effective.

This morning, Mayhem showed me a fuckoff huge hole that he had in his pants. Right in the crotch zone. He'd popped the seam -I'm not asking how- so it was theoretically

Read more »

Challenge #01657-D196: Spiteful Ascension

Depression Tips: Kill the gods and eat their flesh to rise above human chemicals into horrifying immortality

...Sounds more feasible than “just think positive!” -- RecklessPrudence

People around Lase would later swear that they all heard it when she snapped. A lifetime of hearing people say, "Just think positive," will do that to you.

"You know what?" she said. "I'm going to summon an Elder God, kill it, and drink its blood so I can rise above the need for mortal chemicals.

Read more »

Lo Batt Warning

I have barely had time for myself, of late. I have had time to turn around and fart, but it's been in little patches. I need a "me day", but I also need to unfuck the house, bark the kids into order, write the things, and sort other things out.

It's kind of exhausting.

I need a space to recharge, but there's just no window of opportunity before next weekend.

Which means, emotionally speaking, I'm running on fumes until then. Five days

Read more »

Challenge #01656-D195: Amazing How it Works

[Name]'s job description is less Indiana Jones and more "disarming multi-millennia old nuclear weapons without an instruction manual". - of an action archaeologist in a fantasy realm -- RecklessPrudence

Elbi was classed as a Rogue. Technically. It was her job to detect and disarm millenia-old deathtraps so that the rest of her team could safely document and investigate archaeological curiosities. And what never ceased to amaze was the fact that, despite eons of neglect, every single one of these traps was

Read more »

Nyoom

Can't really indulge my desire to space out and chillax, today. Today, I am MeMum's transit system on the quest for curtains.

Australia's arsehole tax laws declare that, if you get a pension or are retired, they will tax you on what they reckon you've got if you're over a certain limit. This is called 'deeming' and seems to be based entirely on what a smart rich person who knows how to evade taxes completely would do with that amount of money.

Read more »

Challenge #01655-D194: Expensive Reactions

On the topic of "Humans are Insane," I present: Every chemist who has ever willingly worked with something that ended up in the "Things I Won't Work With" guy's articles. Please note, many of said chemists were attempting to come up with new, better, rocket fuel, so it was designed to be highly explosive from the get-go.

(can't embed the link for some reason, gets flagged as spam) -- RecklessPrudence

Humans are recognised as patently unkillable across the Galactic Alliance. But even

Read more »

PLNs, Disasters, and other mishaps

This weekend, I had PLNs to clear out the garage at long firkin last. I also have PLNs to visit MeMum and sort out a few things over there.

So of course Beloved gets a lurgi and MeMum says wait until tomorrow.

Never mind, though. I have slightly more time to do the Instant, and faff about a little before everyone wakes up. Which, in this case, means watching YouTube and colouring in more frames for my Sleep Evil Sleep project.

SESP

Read more »

Challenge #01654-D193: Puppet Power

Ventriloquist dummies, Muppets, they allow their handlers to be someone quite different. Some of the more famous being Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Topo Giglio the Mouse and charlie McCarthy and his handler Edgar Bergan, (the puppet is now in the smithsonian)... -- Anon Guest

They say, If you want to find the truth of a man, give him a mask to wear. And this is, to a degree, true. But if you want to weigh the nature of a soul, give

Read more »

Now I can fill you in

First - I didn't get into the garage, yesterday. Second, I had a SNAFU with the funds.

As not precisely detailed, previously, the money didn't quite come into the bank on time. I believe it made it later on in the night. I had plans to get some boxes to organise the garage contents. And no money.

Fortunately, some investigating revealed the carer's allowance landed in my other bank account and I had plenty enough to get that and have grocery money

Read more »

Challenge #01653-D192: Boys' Club

Female superhero puts her foot down and demands a practical costume. -- Knitnan

"Where's my costume?" asked Major Power, still in her civilian gear.

"It's in your locker."

"The only thing in my locker is a g-string bikini and a pair of ballet flats."

"Yup. That's your costume. Updated for market appeal." Mr Mann smiled genially. "It's for merchandising. The focus group doesn't lie."

Support me on Patreon!

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 10 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories

Read more »