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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01775-D314: Haptic Feedback

Aliens vs human ticklishness -- TheDragonsFlame

The ships' human was out of sorts. Grumpy. Tetchy. Upset. They had gone close-mouthed and reticent, and it was Gorthax's job to keep the human happy. He had read what the Edge Territories knew about humans, three times over. And attempted every comfort. Except this one.

Humans thrived on companionable touch. But humans also had eroding acids in their perspiration. Which was a problem because a human could wither and die under the influence of Touch Starvation. He researched thoroughly and found a way to combat the problem.

Insulation. He picked a material that was human-proof, but also amenable to human tactile needs. Gorthax chose fluffy as a texture and basically re-invented the Love Glove. Next, he approached the human in a companionable manner and, as gently as possible, applied a soothing touch.

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Three big days in a row

I did the quack thing yesterday. Huzzah for me.

I'm doing the shrink thing today. More attempts to sort out where the hell I am and what's going on with this whole procrastination mess and why I've been panicking inside my head for like... months.

And tomorrow... Tomorrow, oh tomorrow... I brave myself up and take that firkin blood test thing and myself out to get all the LDLs counted.

All stressful things for me. All taxing my capabilities. All draining my

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Challenge #01774-D313: Tiny New Friend

Giant sapient space spiders meet tiny Earth spiders -- TheDragonsFlame

You need a great amount of arachnophilia to deal with the H'nuff'ruff. The mere sight of having a gigantic spider sneak up on one is not for the faint of heart. Fortunately, Sally thought they were cute, and wore a speech-to-palp-sign translator almost permanently on her brow. She also had a palp-sign-to-text translator permanently running on her eyescreen.

So she definitely did not jump when tapped delicately on the shoulder by a

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Bit in the butt

Remember how I said my procrastination would bite me in the butt? It has.

My shrink appointment's tomorrow and I had not gone to the quack since my last one. And I need a mental health plan to continue seeing my shrink.

The thing I've been dragging my feet over is that I also need my blood checked for cholesterols. I have the kit, but I really don't want to find out the lengths I have to go to in order to

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Challenge #01773-D312: Rocks Fall!

Human: “Ok, how bad is it? Just lay it on me, I can take it…”

Numid: [extent of injury]

H: “Oh, that’s it? I thought it was something serious.”

N: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘THAT’S IT!?!’ -- TheDragonsFlame

Carrie came around to nervous Numidid chirping. Huh. People really did panic in their home tongue. With consciousness came an intense amount of pain. She moaned.

"[There is one alive!]" The Numidids hooted. In broken English, "You with anyone?"

Carrie concentrated on

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That's my 'meh' face. And will do as an "I'm too tired to think of anything clever".

Which is pretty much where I'm at, today.

Nothing happening. Nothing planned. A luxurious day of ficcing and snacking and napping and perhaps more Minecraft.

Story happening whenever I feel like it.

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Challenge #01772-D311: The New Landlord

You once wrote an Instant about a Company owning 99.99% of the World. What they wouldn't realise is "If you own it, you have to fix it. Lousy Hospital, Education, Roads, transport. It's Your responsibility. enjoy!" government retires. -- Knitnan

When you've just bought the world, you never expect it to be a fixer-upper. The previous administration neglected to mention things like noisy and annoying tennants. Rising damp. The fact that the heating needed to be fixed. And they had the

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Moer Focus Issues

I can focus enough to start and finish a hurt/comfort sickfic in one morning. Yay me. But I can't focus enough to do the morning thing and Beloved already wants me to play Minecraft with them.


And I still have to do today's actual free fiction. Rather than turning my eyes permanently to a certain Texmex themed arsehole wizard.

That said, you should definitely listen to the The Adventure Zone podcast. It's amazingly funny and the characters are totally loveable

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Challenge #01771-D310: Necessary Feature Creep

The single most useful command on a computer: ctrl/cmnd+Z -- TheDragonsFlame

Everything is the result of laziness. People invented crank calculators because they didn't want to go through the mathematics themselves. People invented computers because the living ones took a little too long to bust the Enigma code. And programming code was invented because people were sick and tired of having to translate everything into ones and zeroes.

Code editors were invented to keep things straight and highlight mistakes.


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Another trainee day

Mayhem is going to be making his own game. Or at least pitching one. I can't reveal the details because people will flog any idea off the internet that sounds cool. And I want Mayhem to have some success on this.

I have a long-arse drive, there and back, twice, to deal with. And that's going to take at least one can of caffeine.

And on the second leg, I am definitely bringing my lappy so I can work on things whilst

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Challenge #01771-D310: Helper Dragon

This post: -- TheDragonsFlame

Eldarol Vale, the sign read. Here there be dragons. And it was amusing since Elderol Vale was the Pet Dragon capital of the world. The best breeders came from Elderol Vale. The best breeds came from there. The most sincere and severe show judges grew up there, and knew what was good for the animals. In smaller print, the sign boasted, Zero rapes since the Year of the Eternally Staring Owl

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Another Thursday

Cleaning day has moved to today. All well and good because Friday mornings are now spent ferrying Mayhem to his traineeship.

I'm slightly concerned because he has assignments from two angles now and he's sitting around and playing Factorio. He should be planning. Budgetting his time. But no. He's focussed on fun.

The more I get on his case, the less inclined he is going to be to firkin do the thing. I just have to gently remind him that all projects

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Challenge #01770-D309: One Aggravating Evening on a Space Station

Everyone’s translators break down at the worst possible moment. -- TheDragonsFlame

Someone had sabotaged the Universal Translator. Someone for whom the peace negotiations meant only trouble. Unfortunately, there were plenty of parties who could fit that particular motive.

The negotiations room on Deep Space Nine had become a tower of Babel. Bajoran, Cardassian, several Terran dialects, Ferengi and Vulcan and Breen. All at once. Dax knew Vulcan, Ferengi, and all of the Terran tongues, but there was only one other person

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Doing... okay...

There's things I need to do. Like... make a doctor's appointment for my continuing mental health. And brave up and actually read the instructions for that blood test I ordered half a year ago. And brave up to send my manuscript out to another agent or three.

I am a fucking coward.

I know I'm going to procrastinate myself into a corner some day... I just gotta make myself do these things.

And I would much rather listen to the entirety of

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Challenge #01769-D308: Like a Bad Smell

Imagine a race of Aliens who communicate through scent like humans communicate through body language. So when they run into us they're terrified of this species that likes to coat itself in the equivalent of 'Berserker Rage'. And when we DO stop wearing 'perfume/cologne' we're so 'blank' to them that they'd almost prefer the emotional screaming again. -- Anon Guest

They could communicate with dancing hands, and that was well and good. It wasn't until they attempted in-atmosphere communication that things

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