Stolen from a Webcomic

Alien (thoughtfully): A whole holiday of disguise and deceit [Ed: Halloween]… truly these hu-mons are a formidable race.

*points at minionbot*

Alien: Every one of their vaunted ‘holidays’ are actually exercises in deception and warfare.

*resumes thinking position*

Alien: Christmas - a thinly veiled exercise in obfuscation and forensic cryptology. Easter - infiltration and recovery… New Years Eve… a form of globally coordinated mass ordnance deployment.

Minionbot: What about Valentine’s Day?

Alien: Ah yes, Valentine’s Day… Psychological warfare.

Minionbot: How horrible!

Alien: Could be worse… at least there’s chocolate. – RecklessPrudence

(#00364)

Zykryxx had to admit, they had made him and any surviving followers comfortable. They had made an environment for him from the biota aboard his ship. Sealed in a habitat with him and his few surviving followers. They let him and the others build things.

And, since the scant survivors were currently not talking to him, Zykryxx had made himself a companion/minion/pet for company.

Well, he had to make three of them, because the humans took the other two to see what made them go by destroying them in a systematic and analytical manner.

He also had to admit that they were very clever apes, indeed. They found his system of origin and negotiated a treaty with his people… but they hadn’t been able to convince the Krykkarax to take him or his followers back.

So they were stuck here for life. Under the human microscope. With no way to escape and nothing to do if they did.

And on the other hand, he also got to observe the humans and their bizarre, baffling habits. Even with just Minion to talk to, it was entertaining and educational.

Currently, the humans on the other side of the glass were having Halloween. The entire goal was to obfuscate identity and, apparently, drink themselves under the table or put themselves into a sugar-related food coma.

“Observe, Minion. An entire holiday of disguise and deceit. Not to mention threatening negotiation for gain… These Hu-mons are a formidable race.” Realisation dawned at that very moment. He had the common thread! “Every single one of their 'holidays’ is an exercise in deception and warfare.”

“Christmas?” said Minion. It was rather fond of Christmas.

“A thinly-veiled exercise in obfuscation and forensic cryptology.”

“Easter?” Minion’s second-favourite holiday. Zykryxx often wondered why this one was attracted to vibrant colours.

“Infiltration and recovery.”

“New Year’s?”

“Globally co-ordinated mass ordinance deployment.”

Minion buzzed and its eye-lights spun. Processing data and buffering. “What of Valentine’s Day.”

“Psychological warfare.”

“That’s horrible,” gasped Minion.

Zykryxx gently patted Minion on its head. “It’s not that bad. At least there is chocolate.”

Chocolate made all things worthy. Even being stuck in what amounted to a giant, upended fishbowl.

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