It firkin floods.
Bad news has a tendency to snowball around me. I don't just get one bucket of poop descending upon my life like a fateful, fragrant comet. No. I get trucks of it. By the dozen.
And there is something drastically wrong inside my head that makes me blame myself for shit that's out of my control.
Beloved's work superiors act like whiny, micro-managing idiots and make Beloved want to quit? Somehow, it's my fault. Fandom friend some literal thousands of miles away is having their worst day ever? I did that. A totally different friend is injured and suddenly has to find themselves a new home? My. Fucking. Fault.
I don't handle things well when the people dear to me are having trouble, and when I have snowballing trouble, I definitely go to pieces. All my worst habits come out of the woodwork.
Self-neglect is possibly number one on that list. Self-denial is another. My ADD comes out of the woodwork and teams up with my OCD to make me obsess about entering a fanfic on Inkitt instead of, say, getting ready to go to the dentists' today.
[Don't look for that fanfic, folks, I'm still editing that mofo to a more readable format. FYI it's going to be Flotsam]
My memory's shot. My attention span could be measured with a micrometer. I'm a dithering ball of nerves and I still have congestion from last week's Lurgi that is making sitting, writing, and breathing a tiny bit of an immense chore.
And the dentist told me I need to cut down on the acids and the sugars or face losing my teeth. You know. Two of my favourite food groups. I can switch from carbonated beverages to good ole H2O. It's going to be a fucking nightmare for me, emotionally, but I have to do it.
I might need to get one of those water purifier things because even filtered water has a taste and it tastes of bleh.
At least Steam Powered Giraffe is streaming something today. So that's one little highlight. And extra distraction.
If anyone wants to come over and look after me, please apply via the forum. Any forum. I can't pay you because I'm about to be worse than fucking broke. UGH.