Well, I finally bit the bullet and made the appointment to get scanned.
That was terrifying. Needlessly so. I wanted Beloved to do it for me; but they did what they always do… Nothing, while demanding that I just do the thing. It should be easy.
It would have been easier with a hand to hold.
But I was alone.
And I’m going to be alone again, today, when I go and get my scans done.
I’m petrified of being told I can never use a keyboard again. Writing is my life, sanity, and reason to keep living.
But if I leave it go, I might be doing something horrible to myself that guarantees that awful fate.
Beloved says that they hate seeing me in pain. Yet I always get shrugs when I try to explain the emotional ones…
Meh. Enough whining. Today’s the day I face my fate.