My Little Pitch

A 1-post collection

Stfu Assholes: goddessofcheese: hippyveganchick: fffcuk: lzbth: 'got herself...

Stfu Assholes: goddessofcheese: hippyveganchick: fffcuk: lzbth: ‘got herself...

goddessofcheese:

hippyveganchick:

fffcuk:

lzbth:

'got herself pregnant' is the dumbest phrase in the world like forreal if it was possible to get pregnant by ourselves we'd have eaten all the men long ago

it actually is possible to get pregnant (without the sperm of a man…



Science has surpassed the need for men.

It begins with a secret facility on the isle of Lesbos, and soon spreads through covert fertility clinics all over the world. More and more women are having babies without a man in the picture.

By the time statistics departments notice the upswing in female birthrates, it is already too late.

Panicking heterosexuals try to preserve the remaining supply of males, but their treasured ‘natural methods’ mean increasingly less males born in each generation. Worse, the guarded males become entitled little dipshits that no self-respecting woman wants to spend her life with, let alone the handful of minutes it takes to 'do the deed’.

Even the heterosexual women begin to wonder if males are really worth preserving.

And finally, towards the end, there is Alex. The last boy. To protect himself, he has to grow his hair. Wear pretty clothes. Speak in a higher tone of voice. And in all things, pretend to be something he is not.

And he’s fallen in love.

How does he tell her? Does he even dare? What if the news got out about his existance?

There are, after all, celebrations on the anniversary of the death of the last known living man.