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Havenworlders V Deathworlders

A 10-post collection

Challenge #01454-C359: Wild Terra

The Irwin character and their adventures on Earth -- Anon Guest

[AN: once again, pre-yule shopping took me away from doing this]

"Now in most areas of human habitation, the goal is to cover as much of the body as possible. But here--" images of Surfer's Paradise, "--the rules are turned upside-down. Unless you're one of these blokes," images of surfers in their full-body surf suits. "Their vibrant colours tell the sharks that live in the water that they're not good to eat. And for those with plain colours? That's camouflage so the sharks don't spot them. Humans are entirely ingenious when it comes to methods to get what they want."

More footage of divers, some archival, exploring an environment that was clearly hostile. And one image of a human figure clad head to toe in a protective suit, bouncing along on the surface of their moon.

"I'm hidden so I don't disturb any of them," said the host as the view switched back to the humans on the beach. "These are not a species meant for life in the water, but that doesn't stop them. They even teach their young how to interact with the waves." Footage of a parental human and a baby barely able to stand. The former leaned over the latter and helped the baby along in the shallow water.

"Most life forms have an evolutionary choice. Go into the water and stay there, or stay out of it altogether. These humans are the first mammals I've seen with amphibian tendencies. But it doesn't end there!"

An image of a mountain. "This is the tallest mountain on planet Terra," another mountain, "And this is the deadliest. Every year, humans risk their lives just for bragging rights to say they made it to the top and some..." images of dead humans tangled in the snow, "never make it back down again. It's too high and too much trouble to bring the bodies back down, so other human climbers use the bodies as landmarks."

Now the camera focussed on the presenter. "I know what you're thinking, but these are deathworlders, life is difficult, challenging, and often short. Survival by any means is most definitely the law on this world. And my little friends, the humans? They're pretty good at surviving. Just take a look at the local population around my hide. I have neighbours who've had their bones broken - both by accident and design. I have neighbours who live with near-deadly mutations, and only a change in diet is required to keep them going. I have neighbours with debilitating diseases that will plague them for the rest of their lives... and with a few artificial aids... they just keep on with their days as if nothing is wrong." He showed pleasure to his audience, safely light-years away and on the other end of a wormhole chain and a long flight that the humans had yet to discover. "And I, for one, think that's amazing, and something we can all learn from."

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Challenge #01452-C357: Cute and Bombproof

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/154304792219/jumperjohn-you-know-that-one-post-about-humans

"You know that one post about humans being really durable compared to aliens and that one about humans being really cute to aliens?

What if they were both true at the same time. Like the aliens decide to take their human on a landing mission because they get so excited and it’s so cute but then a storm hits and they crash. And the aliens are all freaking out because they can’t be

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Challenge #01451-C356: Nice Doggy

"Aww! Whose a cute little puppy- poo!"

"I have seen dogs. That is definitely no where near a dog,"

"Oh, leave the little cutie alone,"

"I'm serious, are you blind?" -- OohLookShiny

Gorqax sighed. "Look. I can tell you're going to be pedantic about this. A dog is a non-cogniscent deathworlder mammal of Terran origin that is quadrupedal, fur-bearing, and carnivorous."

"Yes, that is the definition." Plegg rolled hir eyes.

"This creature that I am currently grooming is also a non-cogniscent deathworlder

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Challenge #01447-C352: The Gratitude of Some People

Two people in danger

[Person #1] has a plan and gets them out of it

[Person #2]: THAT WAS CRAZY AND STUPID AND WE NEARLY DIED!!

[Person #1]: But it worked! -- RecklessPrudence

"We still nearly died!" ranted Mr'kish.

"I made sure we didn't. And, more importantly, I made sure you didn't. The proper words at this point are 'thank you'."

"You used your livesuit as an escape pod. You shot us out a torpedo tube..."

"In my defence, I was aiming

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Challenge #01433-C338: Pressing Suit

Courting gifts given in hope of acceptance, they vary from culture to species. -- Knitnan

On the mating rituals of Galactic Species...

As a whole, the mating habits of Galactic Society are so wide and varied that one may be excused for missing the signals of another. For example, most species gift food to their desired mate, but the solitary and territorial B'la'b'lankh sing[1] for their mates.

To the Vigin, a food-gift of meat is the deadliest of insults, while to

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Challenge #01428-C333: Educational Amusement

A bird prompt for the Numidids: The story of Kevin-the-deathworlder and the deathworlder bird. (Even their birds are brutal!) -- RecklessPrudence

"...and even... photographers."

The scene cut to a camera-wielding human cautiously pursuing a Killdeer plover doing its broken-wing act. He was making soothing cooing noises, but they were clearly not working.

The person behind the camera was giggling.

The bird floundered aimlessly around as the photographer attempted to capture it without hurting it.

After a total of five failed attempts to

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Challenge #01292-C197: The Best Place by the Fire

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/146903793739/my-fever-thoughts-the-last-two-days

There's got to be one species that's impressed by storytelling even if it's not solely humanity's "thing" in amalgam -- Gallifreya

One good thing you can plausibly state about humans is that time spent with them is never boring. Of course, that was their chief combination of blessing and curse. They were never boring.

Most species took to space for reasons of economy. Things on their homeworld were no longer easy to obtain. Yet there

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Challenge #01290-C195: Early Confusion

"There's a ladybug in my room!"

"Did you really call me at 3AM to tell me that?"

"I'm about two seconds away from burning this place down!" -- OohLookShiny

It took Cal a minute to recalculate what the hell Ch'v'th was talking about. "...no. No. Absolutely not. No. Don't."

"But the ancient rhyme of your people..."

"...does not tell you to set your house on fire. You tell the ladybug that her house is on fire."

There was a slight pause and

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Challenge #01230-C135: So This is How I Die

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/143039331394/memeufacturing-human-after-being-stabbed-four -- Gallifreya

There are games the mind plays in extremis. One of its favourites is Hallucinations. But when the imagination is lacking or the mind is sufficiently aware of reality, the mind defaults to Good News, Bad News.

Good News, there is still air.

Bad News, it is filling with smoke.

Good News, there is still gravity.

Bad News, I am on my back.

Q'riikix, known to the humans in the crew as "Queasy", rattled

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Challenge #01223-C128: Known Behavioural Patterns

:[Name] thinks while hiding and sneaking with new-found allies from and around old enemies:

[Name] started a mental drinking game for the disgusted comments about how this was not running a search pattern, and the amount of things it couldn’t find, but gave up when they realized they’d mentally gotten alcohol poisoning. -- RecklessPrudence

This had to be the biggest collection of obligatory stupid guards and bad base planning since someone let a three-year-old play Fortress Defence Jr. Jain had

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