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Don't Make Me Sing

A 1-post collection

Wild, ravening plotbunny, free to a loving home

There is something desperately wrong with my head. I'm stressed to fuck and have worries out the wazoo, so what does my brain focus on?

Steam-Powered Victorian Romance Fluff.

Seriously.

I am suddenly ob-firkin-sessed with socially-awkward ASD Col. Peter A. Walter 1 repeatedly missing the increasingly unsubtle advances of Iris Tonia... who was hired by Pete1's father in the hopes of at least gaining one descendant.

The whole thing of Pete1 being invited to the Cavalcadium? Pete1's dad thinking: "That place is full of girls. He's got to bring one of them home."

Pity for him that they were mostly lesbians.

In desperation, he hires women from all walks of life and is like, "Lol, you won't get fired for macking on my son, HINT FIRKIN HINT."

Because Pete1 is 30-something, still living with his parents, and does not fathom in the slightest how to talk to strangers. Let alone strangers of the feminine persuasion.

Exhibit A: Delilah, the 50-foot tall mechanical giraffe that he made to try and impress that suffragette lass, "doctor" Moreau. Lad thinks its romantic. He needs help.

So SOMEHOW Iris makes it absolutely, positively clear that she likes him. Or she becomes visible by performing some feat of genius or otherwise being someone he relates to and they do teh sexx [lol] and everything seems peachy for about twenty seconds before - whoops - Becile is up to his cannon shenanigans.

While he's away, Iris discovers she's pregnant and discretely tries to inform Walter Snr in a way that wouldn't cause a major scandal. Walter Snr is all, "Fuck scandal, I'm getting me some grandkids. I know a bloke who can forge papers to your advantage, by the way. And if Pete1 dies in Africa, that's even better! He won't be a negative influence on the baby."

And Iris is like: "What the actual FUCK, dude? I'd rather starve to death in the gutter than have you anywhere near my child." But way politer so that he completely misses the fact that she now does not want to touch him with any length of barge pole.

[Yeah, I headcannon Pete1 being almost the polar opposite of his dad. Deal with it]

Iris spends her time at the Walter house avoiding everyone and being a housework ninja until Pete1 comes home. Cue absolute MONTHS of Iris trying to tell him about the pregnancy. Even the robots clue on way before their Pappy does.

So she goes as far as showing him the baby bump and bursting into tears about this uphill battle. Pete1 thinks she's been knocked up by some random cad, and offers his assistance in any way. Including fisticuffs.

Iris: You're the father, you dense son of a potato.

Pete1: (penny FINALLY drops) Oh. (spends twenty minutes staring vacantly at the wall) Do you want me to marry you? Because Father's a little... strange... about me getting him grandchildren. Maybe the baby would be better off without him.

Iris: Babies. It's twins.

Pete1: Oh that would be splendid. A boy and a girl all at once. I'd be good to them. Even if you don't want me to marry you. And I want to be good to you, too. (starts babbling about how helpful she is)

Iris: You're babbling.

Pete1: See? I was a mess when we met, and I'm lots less of a mess when you're near. Please stay?

And it's the closest he ever gets to a formal proposal but they still wait until after the birth because normal childbirth at the time is dangerous and twins were doubly so. And when all three survive, he takes her down the aisle so fast that there's Doppler Distortion.

And possibly a series about Relatively Sane Iris dealing with ASD Pete1, four baby robots, twin human babies, and assorted inventions in all their years together. "Oh, Peter..." gets to be her catch-cry. [You know, because I broke everyone's heart with Master (Last) Work]

I already have a lot of fanfic pots on the back-burner. Trying to focus on a spoopy tale or two [Also SPG-flavoured FYI] as well as the daily Instant and my firkin novel.

If I had a laptop, I could work on my fanfic any old where. Including those usually-dead wee small hours in the AM. Alas, the lappy I want is nearly AUD$2K. [FYI, I'm drooling towards a 13-inch Macbook Pro. The newer, thinner lappys look cool, but their storage capacity is shit.]

So... either take this plotbunny, give it to someone who can write it, or drop a significant donation up on top of the page. And even then, I can't really do it without the lappy :P

I will, of course, be updating my progress towards any of my goals [including either a new art tablet or a cintiq, because doodling when I'm supposed to be writing is my thing also]. BUT so far, my Paypal balance is still eighteen cents (US) and my bank balance is still three dollars (AU)... and my available cash is AUD$5.45

Please help?