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Challenge #01438-C343: Paradise is Relative

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/153665498898/humans-are-weird

The post: A continuation on the "other planets don't have temperature fluctuations and stuff like earth does" theme including things like humans living on/swimming in volcanic areas, sending humans to the antarctic because drones don't work in the cold, and whenever earthquakes knock everything down building on the same are a again but with better earthquake proofing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Distracting GIF warning for that link]

Vri'thol was having difficulty with the concept. "This planet is heavily volcanic, and prone to both extreme weather and extreme temperature changes... and you think it is nearly perfect?"

"Well of course," said one of the human crew. Pol. "This would make a lovely resort planet."

"I did mention the vulcanism, yes?"

"Yes. You did. Most of them are hot springs and our species has developed technology with accurate forewarning for eruptions. Mostly because of Japan and Hawaii."

Vri'thol looked those two up. Two island nations that lived on volcanic islands and... utilised this. "Ah. So you plan on using the springs for geothermal energy?"

"Only the really hot ones. Most of them are going to become hot bath emporiums."

Hot... bath... "You bathe in volcanic waters?"

"Of course. It's a real treat."

The mind boggled so hard that it needed a vacation. "And the areas with crystallized ice precipitation?"

"Snow," corrected Pol. "Those would be fantastic for skiing."

Vri'thol looked that one up, too. O Powers. More human insanity. They strapped flat boards to their feet and used them to propel themselves across this... snow... at speeds ranging from sensible to attempted suicide. "And... the extreme weather?"

"Nothing we're not used to," beamed Pol. "A little re-enforcement does wonders. And we can earthquake-proof everything as we build it."

Now the mind that boggled wanted a quiet retirement tending food insects. It had worked too hard. It deserved as much. "That implies that you have built so often in earthquake zones that you have developed methods to protect structures from further disturbances."

"Yup," chirped Pol.

Humans were deathworlders. Vri'thol had to remember that. "If this planet is a paradise... we might know of twenty other planets you may enjoy."

"I think we'll start with just this one, but forward the list to my company and we might swing a deal."

Humans...

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