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Challenge #01396-C301: Unconventional Saints

While skimming Reddit's D7D page, I ran across a thread discussing interesting house-rules various groups had invented for their games. Some were mundane, like what weapons did certain amounts of damage on critical hits, or which monsters were weak to certain elements, but one strange one stuck out...

"Paladins and Clerics who are sworn to the service of gods who are Lawful Good in alignment are, as a result of their intense piety and devotion, actually and literally able to piss pure Holy Water, imbued with all the expected blessings and divine endowments therein." -- Anon Guest

Of all the strange things that Saint Grelf the Strong of Arm did, the one that mystified Diherna the most was the peculiar habit of relieving himself into marked containers. Since she had been rescued by the fighting saint, she decided not to mention his odd habit.

It got even more peculiar when he sealed them in wax and then gave them to any passing travellers as Holy Water. And warned them not to drink it.

He had between five or ten to give to any house that let them rest on their property. He even paid for rooms at an inn with a brace of the things.

Diherna broke at one evening meal, watching him buy another brace of bottles from a Glazier's Boy. "Sir," she said. "I've seen what you do to make your holy water... but why give it away?"

"I am a Vessel for the Holy Power of Beliit," answered the Paladin. "I am to give what I have for those in need, as is His will. And since I am a Vessel for His power, and I am devoted... any water that passes through me becomes imbued with the same power."

Diherna almost choked on her stew. "You... piss... holy water?"

"And crap Blessed Earth, if you wish to be so crude. Yes. It can have its advantages." He grinned. "I was once held captive by Evil Creatures. Lost and alone, I made an escape with the help of a Rogue I once knew... but the important part is I relieved my bladder into their water supply."

Diherna turned maroon from mortification. "You didn't," she whispered.

"Blessings are just as infectious as curses, it seems," said Saint Grelf. "I was a young Paladin at the time, and the Queen who employed me had tasked me with ridding that land of evil. They didn't much mind how I did it."

She boggled at him anew. "I thought Saints were stuffy old virgins with no sense of fun..."

"They don't have to be," said Saint Grelf. His eyes were twinkling. "I know you were escaping your destiny as something of a Saint, yourself. Perhaps you'd like to learn a few things..."

"My mother insists I go to the Order of the Lady to keep me in line," she growled. "I don't want to be in a convent until she finds me some warty old king."

"Let me tell you a few interesting things about the Order of the Lady," he said with a laugh. "Starting with their utmost belief in their follower's free will..."

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