Humans meet a species from a different deathworld.
(#00580 - A215)
Things around the negotiation table were tense. It wasn’t often that the humans met another cogniscent race that could kill them with ease. The fact that both sides were willing to keep their hostile actions in check was a telling victory for the mamalian side of the negotiations.
For a long time, Trodonti and Human stared at each other.
“We have studied your home planet,” said K'ress. “It is something we would consider as a holiday world. Your species is much weaker than us. How in the known universe did you manage to fight us to a standstill?”
Admiral Eig smiled. “You should have studied our evolutionary path, Captain. In our species’ infancy, we regularly hunted down meat many times our size. We regularly settled in or near volcanic cauldera because the soil is fertile. If something kills one of ours, we have a habit of either making its species extinct… or taming them. We have millennia of experience in taking a threat and turning it to our advantage.”
A minor adjudant whispered in the Captain’s tympanum. “The Gympie Gympie tree?” repeated K'ress.
“We’re still finding a use for it. Weaponizable neurotoxin seems promising.” She idly inspected her own nails. “Of course, we’re still working on ways to process it without harm to the manufacturers.”
“We would have eradicated such a hazard,” said K'ress.
“We might be able to bottle a small sample for you. According to our DNA scans, you might find it a tasty spice.”
K'ress couldn’t believe her senses. This mammal was offering her a violently aggressive toxin for their own species as casually as any other trader would offer beads and trinkets. “Why would you even try?” she boggled.
“We have an expression: one being’s trash is another’s treasure. One being’s poison is another’s medicine.”
“And sometimes both at once. I’ve read up on your ancient practice of ‘kee-mo therapy’…” K'ress shook her head. “The rumours were correct. Your species is insane.”
“Probably,” agreed Eig. “But we also firmly believe the expression 'waste not, want not’. Even something as poisonous as the Gympie Gympie or the Box Jellyfish may have its uses elsewhere. Even - and you may thank your Gods for this - people such as yours.”
Yes. The humans had fought them to a standstill. Not, K'ress noted, extinction. Though many other species would have if they could have. Many even urged the humans to do so. And now she had to be thankful that the humans wanted to see if she and her kind might come in handy at a later time.
“That,” she noted aloud, “I have fully noticed.”
Nods of understanding from the assembled mammals. One passed Eig a data tablet. Which Eig, in turn, slid towards K'ress.
“This is a list of what we consider to be sensible reparations. We’ve added the irrational ones in an appendix for your amusement.”
K'ress resisted the temptation to look at what an insane species considered irrational. These humans were capable of logic, after all. “My superiors won’t like this.”
“Your superiors need a tour of our weapons arsenal.” A smirk. A casual lean across the table. “We could have been worse. Always remember that, eh?”
It was painful, but not impossible. And not impoverishing to the point of generating another war. K'ress found it to be a very calculated balance. “I’ll have to pass it along, but…”
“Yes?”
“For mutual peace of mind…”
“Go on. Ask.”
“Explain to me how your kind managed to 'Rickroll’ the entire empire?”
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