Vulcans discover Australian wildlife. -- Anon Guest
Out in the Never-Never, it's either deathly dry or flooded to the point of cataclysm. This time, when the Vulcans sent their science team to investigate, it was deadly dry. Though they had a native guide with them, they seemed most at home in this arid and hostile environment.
Some even felt chilly, and wore coats.
"Ey up," said the native guide. "Got a nesting emu up ahead."
'Ey up', they were assured, was Australian for 'stop what you're doing and look out, there's trouble near by' which was a lot to pack into a mere two syllables.
The Vulcans formed a defensive ring and almost put their scanning equipment at bay. Then they followed their guide's lead and hunkered close to the ground. No-one sat, because they understood the need to take off at a sprint.
The guide had her voice lowered to a murmur. "Now. We might be alright if they've hatched? But we could also be okay if he's still brooding. When they've all hatched, or they're close to being hatched? He won't want to leave any of 'em alone."
"Query," murmured T'rang. "It is usually the female bird who broods a nest. Is this not so on this occasion?"
"Yeah, nah," said the guide. The Vulcans had been assured that this was agreeing, and then answering in the typical, convoluted, Australian style. "Your emu or your ostrich? They've got things going the other way. The male broods while the female goes off and finds another bloke? It's to guarantee that some of the next generation actually make it to the next breeding season." Sharon picked up a random stick and started playing with it. "Life can be rough in the Aussie outback."
"Query," said S'hok, the token male. "Is this the Australian tradition of 'bullshitting' and was that one of your memes just now?"
"Nah yeah," giggled the Australian. Which was answering and then agreeing. "No bullshit. That there's a bloke emu. And the thing with the stick was a meme. Hang on. Someone's decided to say 'hello'..." Sharon used her stick to gently lift a scorpion off a Vulcan foot. "You lot are probably immune? But I'd rather not take any chances. This scorpion's venom can kill a buffalo in two minutes flat."
A chorus of scanners activated, and the closest thing to excited Vulcan murmuring commenced. Eyebrows raised all around and one brave lady picked the creature up by its stinger.
"Fascinating. Genera arachnidae... yet its body form is vastly similar to insecta. The armament indicates a need for defensive and offensive combat."
"And it is edible," added another Vulcan.
"Yeah nah, I'm not scarin' up a scorpion casserole for you lot."