Betcha Wander's licensed to perform weddings -- Anon Guest
There were a lot more refugees, these days. Seas of people from all sorts of planets, all walks of life. Many of them were camped in line to get enough Orbble Juice to skip to the next galaxy. Some were hoping for enough to just get to the next planet.
Wander was not handling it well. The worst thing in the world was being just as helpless as all the others desperately waiting for some kind of chance. Sure, he could do little things, and he had been busy at lots of them. But the big thing that needed fixing -Dominator and her relentless destruction of the galaxy- could not be fixed as easily as re-uniting family members, retrieving lost articles, or tying people's shoes.
But finally, there was the most heart-breaking event. A bride and groom, each having to leave on separate ships. Dominator had disrupted their wedding, and there was a chance they would never see each other again. One ship was headed to a different haven than the other.
"I can help!" Wander shouted, suddenly in the midst of the grieving wedding party. "I have an official marryin' license. I can't do much about the other stuff, but I can see to it that you're officially spouses before you gotta go."
He made Sylvia hold an immense tome that he pulled out of his head and flipped to a page somewhere in the middle. Wander cleared his throat and adopted a beatific expression.
"Marriage," he said.
Just the way he said it indicated that this was going to go on for a bit.
"Marriage is a dream within a dream. The dream of love, wrapped withing the greater dream of everlasting rest..."
"Wander," said Sylvia. "The ship's about to take off in less than an hour. Could you skip to the important bits?"
Wander pouted a little and sighed. "Fine. Glypnoxx. Do you agree to love and cherish Klabblaz for the rest of your days?"
"Oh yes," said Glypnoxx.
"Klabblaz. Do you agree to love and cherish Glypnoxx for the rest of your days?"
"Then, by the power vested in me, I introduce you to the state of matrimony. Let no-one or no thing separate what true love has brought together, this day. Y'all can kiss."
Cheers all around. And more than a few tears as well. It may not have been the first wedding dance to be accompanied by banjo, but it was certainly the most emotional. Both bride and groom clung to each other as if it was their last chance to touch.
Finally, the wealthy shipmate who had hogged the executive suite stepped forward. "Here. Gimmie your ticket, fella. You and your bride deserve a first-class trip. Together."
Sylvia wondered, not for the first time, if Wander's songs and lyrics had magical properties. She'd thought nothing would budge the heart of that sour old skinflint. And yet, there he was. Moist-eyed and gentling from his rough, gruff, acidic personality.
But then again, even she had a wobbly lip from the proceedings.