Challenge #04655-L271: Improper Parcel Preparation

What happens to a poor postal worker delivering a package some idiot wrote “Non-Flammable” on, even though the contents are VERY LIKELY to spontaneously burst into flames? -- Deathshead419

As far as Lyle was concerned, this parcel was plastered with overly specific denials. All hand-written over every possible space. Not flammable, they said, Definitely won't spontaneously combust. It was also laid all over with "Handle With Care" and "Fragile" stickers. One of the hand-written warnings, in worrying crayon, said, Store it in cool, dry place.

There was only one conclusion.

This parcel was packed and labled by an idiot. A very specific degree of idiocy that read all the cautions and the ever-growing list of things that people weren't allowed to send by the mail, and figured straight-up lying would let them get away with this horseshit.

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