Silly Nonsense

A 5-post collection

Challenge #00860-B129: Cue Maniacal Laugh

“Oh no, he’s won! Now the mad genius is going to destroy the world!”
“What? No. Why would I destroy the world? I like the world. It is where I keep all my stuff.”

“But– You’re going to destroy the infrastructure. The economy. The Pax Consumerist!”

“Nonsense,” sad Mad Doctor Valerie. “I’m just destroying the part of it that keeps people down. Translation, I’m unseating you and all your upper-class ilk by distributing all wealth evenly.”


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Challenge #00857-B126: Wake up and Smell the Progress

‘We had a perfectly good slow rolling apocalypse going on before you decided to get involved, you know.’ they said, after a long pause.

‘Now you have a fast apocalypse. Rejoice; progress has come to you.’

She didn’t struggle very hard when they dragged her down into the
catacombs. And she really shouldn’t have been surprised that all the
members of the Secret Cabal were all chairmembers of various Big
Corporate Entities.

“Lord Monsando. Does this belong to you?

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Challenge #00847-B116: The Diving War

This battle would be much more intense if both sides weren’t trying to lose.

“If we do not win for the glory of the emperor, we will be executed as criminals.”

“But we can’t win! The odds are stacked against us.”

“Have no fear! I have bribed the other general to lose to us. All we have to do is make sure that we don’t hurt his men.”

Meanwhile, in the other camp…

“The emperor told us to

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Challenge #00842-B111: Complaints Department

Person who brought the bomb: ‘You’re genuinely offended by the fact that we didn’t bring big enough bombs?’
Person they were trying to blow up: ‘I’m offended by any job poorly done, but that’s not the prime issue.’

“You call that an explosion,” griped the target. Lord Bottomsbury. “You call that an explosion?”

“Er,” said Kieth, would-be assassin. “I thought it’d work?”

“Honestly. This is not the death I paid for.”

“I’m sorry, it’s my

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