A 6-post collection

Best. Belly laugh. Ever.

I have an in-joke with my progeny we call “the Fartarsing Competition” which is generally aimed at any kind of road-building activity that’s mostly inactivity designed to impede traffic flow for months on end. You know. Road works.

On our way home from an outing, today, I decided to narrate the local crew allegedly doing something in regards to drainage.

Me: [Bad David Attenborough impression] “We now join the inaction in progress. I see five gentlemen standing around having a gassbag, one fellow wandering around the area of alleged construction and three gentlemen standing around supervising his aimless meanderings. And, yes, there is a gentleman sitting in the shade having a *biscuit*. Excellent fartarsing all around, gentlemen.”

Mayhem: [Perfect Announcer Voice] “And now… Ducks.”


I was laughing so hard my eldest was pleading with me to pull over lest we crash. He had such perfect timing, such a perfect nonsequiteur…

It was art.

Dry run day today

It’s Friday. The last school day before I’m off to strange lands.

So, of course, I’m making Hubby do everything I usually do whilst I’m here to supervise ‘cause I’m a paranoid B.

So far he’s woken up Chaos [Autistic, age 6] to come on a walk with him, Mayhem and the hound, and then left her lag behind 'cause I was there to hold her hand. Not encouraging,

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Kids are coming home, soon.

My week off is nearly over. Soon, it shall be back to the slog of chasing after two kids and a dog and bitching about various life trials.

Good news: It means I’ll have blogging material again [seriously, you’re all two posts away from ponies as I write].

Bad news: I’ll have two shoulder surfers and a hound to worry about.

But I also have Plans. One is a trip to the cinemas for good behaviour

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So I've arranged a little something in my queue...

Basically, I had nothing to write, yesterday [27th Feb] and queued up all my attempts at Doctor Whooves care of Generalzoi’s pony maker flash-toy. Then I found out I did have something to say and had to rearrange things.

‘Cause who wants eleven days of ponies before you get to find out stuff?

…okay, so some folks might want to see it. Desperately. I can promise you it’s not that magical. Really.

So from now on,

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As the Drama Flies...

I usually name my mythical soap operas _All My [NOUN]s_, mad-lib style. But my life is definitely As the Drama Flies. And believe me, it’s flying pretty damn low, right now.

Got some expensive and some not-so-expensive stuff to try and train the hound not to chew shit he shouldn’t chew. Neither of said stuff is waterproof.

Gave selfsame stuff to Hubby and Mostly Shiftless. It hasn’t been seen since.

It rained.

Dog decided to

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