Heaven Forfend We Distract The Boys

A 1-post collection

piupiu-littlebird:nasty-little-hobbitses:lavendrmenace:Men: Don't look like a trash canWomen: "Look pretty enough to show you're a woman"...




Men: Don’t look like a trash can
Women: “Look pretty enough to show you’re a woman” because the only thing that matters to be a woman is to be beautiful, also “covered enough to look like a lady” because showing your shoulder will make every man in the audience simaltaneously ejaculate and it will be a big mess. Also if someone stares at your tits and not your face, it’s your fault and you should be ashamed of yourself and your disgusting, lustful body.

This is disgusting

I would fucking go there in a suit and fake beard.

“What? you said “modesty”. According to you, men clothing are modest by nature, so here I am: dressed like a man. Fuck you.”

Let’s see how many ways we can all incense the people who wrote these rules without actually breaking them.

So far I have:

  • Nun habit
  • Victorian formal dress
  • Gentleman’s suit (in pink, so they know you’re a woman)
  • A fucking cardboard box that covers your shoulders and chest, but not your midriff. Worn with an “earth mother” floor-length skirt
  • Anything that reads “My face is up here”
  • A Khaftan with the word “WOMAN” over most of it and “FACE” near the neck. Helpful arrow optional.
  • Monk’s robes
  • Feminine plate armour
  • Samos cosplay
  • Full Lolita frills with a longer style of skirt
  • A dress made out of a potato sack.
  • A fucking ball gown
  • Anything you like with a goddamn BLACK BODY STOCKING underneath
  • Green Screen Suit [“What? You want me to be invisible anyway…”]
  • Butterfly dress
  • Full Starfleet Uniform
  • Dinosaur exosuit [Just come to school as a fucking velociraptor. Do it]
  • Anything formless that you can print your resumé on
  • White tie and tails
  • Fursuit
  • Dominatrix outfit with flat heel shoes
  • And my favourite: Jeans and a Geeky T-shirt with sandshoes.

What other things can we do to mess these people up?