How to make it rain!

WARNING: May cause flooding.

  1. Wash, and then line-dry all your house linens. Including the winter stuff that’s super-heavy when wet.
  2. Wash and polish the car(s)
  3. Paint the house
  4. Stain the deck
  5. Pour some concrete
  6. Have a picnic
  7. Say “It’s such a lovely sunny day I hope it doesn’t rain”

All my peeps in drought-stricken areas: Verbally invite flooding rains from elsewhere in the country to come and visit. Something along the lines of “I wish some of that would come over here” is usually efficacious.

And know where your dinghies are. Just in case.

All the other peeps in areas at risk of flooding: Verbally un-invite the rain to somewhere that needs it. “F*ck off to [DROUGHT AREA]!” is most effective.

With our collective energies, we can control the weather a little.