I wasn't able to 'push' my novel's output this week. I've barely been able to line up what I'm taking.
Procrastination is happening because I don't want my friends' death to be real. I don't want things to be final. As if putting off the entire journey off is somehow going to make my friend come back and tell me that this was some kind of bad joke.
...I wanted to believe that when my Grandfather died when I was about ten... I guess I never grew out of it.
Reality is that which continues, regardless of belief. I know that. I'm going to be there and witness the ultimate reality.
So yeah. I'm dawdling. Even on my own work.
The Embuggerances clustering around my life include a karked car.
My car has been leaking coolant for some time, and it's gone beyond the point of being ignorable. I managed to get my car squeezed in for a look-see by the experts and... yikes. It's for-want-of-a-nail time.
A little O-ring was leaking and melting as it leaked, causing the trouble. To replace the O-ring, the experts pretty much have to pull my engine a-firkin-part. When they want to put it all back together, they have to replace some one-use-wonder pipes because planned obsolescence makes a lot of people money.
The cost of the O-ring itself is probably closer to twenty cents. The cost of the pipes, the transportation of those pipes, and the work of installing them... all totals up to over a thousand dollars.
Plus I have only a few days before I'm taking this road trip.
With my car in the shop, my transit options came in multiple levels:
1) Fly and rent or uber - expensive as hell when we're pondering the $1K+ repair bill. Guaranteed to wipe our bank accounts.
Steal Borrow someone else's car for the trip - do-able, cheaper, and the only risk is the relative unfamiliarity of the vehicle in question.
We have: Beloved's behemoth 4x4 with the moddest of mod cons (vintage, a year or two) and it's compatible with my phone... OR: The shitty no-cons car with zero compatibility with literally everything except the radio and it barely has cruise control.
Literally nobody wants the shitty no-cons car. Mayhem's getting it after he has his P-plates.
So. I'm stealing Beloved's car, using Waze so I don't accidentally speed, and getting a bunch of road snacks for the long-arse road trip on the Saturday before.
I'm going to try to stay on my assorted wagons - Keto and caffeine-free - for the trip, but I'm not going to be taking any risks on that score.
And now - I write whilst I can.