Epic prank wars - either GGverse or Evoverse, your pick.


[AN: Since I have a fic in progress with Sara turning up in the GG universe, I can get away with both!]

She really should not have followed master Gilgamesh. But she had and, having followed master Gilgamesh, found an adventure. This, though, was a lull-point. Fixing and repairing and building and, strangely enough, taking a well-deserved rest.

Which was how she met Mama/Jaegergeneral Gkika. She was all sharp smiles and, for a Jaeger, cunning. 

They conversed for a while about recipes and this or that, and then she said it. “Und how iss der liddle one?”

Sara did her best to hide the frisson of terror that almost stopped her heart. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” she said, cool and frosty. Outside, nothing had changed. Inside, it was shrieking panic and tempest in progress.

“Der liddle one hyu keeps in dat big-liddle movink box of yours.”

Islands shattered. Stars exploded. Civilizations fell in rains of fire. This Jaeger had found Jane!

Sara very calmly gave her a generous portion of mutton and clootie dumplings. She’d overdone the nutmeg, but that was the point. She needed this nosy Jaeger napping while she checked on everything.

Someone - possibly Gkika - had turned her tent upside-down. Contents and all. And without Sparky intervention.

Jane was fine. Thank the forces of Kismet. And it was a relatively minor matter to turn everything to rights. But Gkika knew. Jaegergeneral or not, everyone knew that the best way to get a Jaegermonster to keep a secret was to sew it into their severed head and bury it under half a mountain.

Ergo, in order to protect Jane, Sara had to keep Gkika… distracted.

Master Gilgamesh would notice if his best Jaeger suddenly lost her head.

Sara began by doping her dinner with Flattus Beans. Gkika retaliated by aiming her fart flares in Sara’s general direction. Sara concocted a fang paste that encapsulated any attempted vocalization in fuchsia bubbles. Gkika somehow painted Sara’s travelling box with unicorns and flowers.

But everyone agreed it was the trio of singing mimmoths that did the trick.

They were in a little cage, singing _Blue Moon_.

Gkika, gently sizzling from her last attempt on Sara, said, “Them vuns, hyu don’t want to eat all at vunce.”

“Please, I spent hours on their little tuxedoes.”

“How…?” said Gil.

“Well, the bow ties were a bit bothersome, but once you have the correct magnification, you just miniaturize a 37 Gargantuan. They’re a surprising match to the humanoid frame.”

“How do you get them to stop?”

“Oh.” Sara faced the cage and bowed slightly. “That will do, gentlemen.”

The mimmoths trumpeted a final ‘ta-dah!’ with their trunks and began to graze on their bedding.

“And now,” said Gil, in the manner of all men battling an incipient migraine. “WHY?”

“She iz very goot mama,” said Gkika. “Hy don’ mind at all. She’s schtopped me tellink you about der liddle vun so often, hy almost forget she’s dere.”

“I knew I should have arranged a more permanent accident,” muttered Sara.

“Little… one…” Gil boggled. “I would know if there was a baby in the camp. And Miss Adrien is far too young to have birthed an older child. Just… stop this nonsense and stay focussed on our primary task, if you please.”

Oceans of relief almost drowned her. Sara breathed out. “Yes, sir. Of course, sir.” She watched him leave to fix the latest incipient disaster and laughter bubbled up out of her. “How about that,” said Sara. “An improbable truth is invisible! I needn’t have worried so hard.”

“Hy just vanted to help make der liddle dresses. Und put der liddle bows in her hair.”

Sara reluctantly offered her hand. “Pax puero?”


Ever afterwards, Gil would only ever glancingly worry about the tea parties in Sara’s tent…

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