Challenge #01074-B342: When Realities Collide

"No, sir. They're not green, they're blue! They talk funny and they're drinking everything!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: a doff of the witch's hat and a formal bow to Sir Terry Pratchett. You are still missed. Also I saw that reference to Monty Python, you magnificent sneak]

Kazooland, though it is a reality unto itself, is also a Corridor realm. It has little back doors to every other realm of imagination. Soft spots where you can trip over another reality without a moment's notice.

Of course, some areas are more prone to soft patches than others. Horroria, for example, has a highway into Halloweentown. Snornia, island of Dragons, has a corridor that leads to a land largely populated by rainbow-hued talking ponies.

And when your house has a hallway that adjoins a mirrored mansion in Kazooland...


Let's just say that Walter Manor can get some interesting pests.


The Spine regarded the small blue man on the shelf with his best sceptical expression. He would have used a hairy eyeball except Rabbit had stolen it. "Huh," he said at length. "We've never had little blue men, before. And -ah- what's with the crazy straw into that jar? That's a specimen preserved in formaldehyde..."

"Awa' wi' ye, ye muckle iron tattybogle! Cannae a man ha'e a wee dram in peace?"

The Spine could only understand one word in five. "I'm sorry. I have to prevent you and the property in Walter Manor from coming to harm." He made to gently scoop up the little blue man...

And the next thing he knew, there was a dent in his forehead and the irrevocable knowledge that his cooling fins were stuck in the floorboards again.

@NumberOneSilver: Attn all Walter Workers. Incursion from Kazooland detected. Be on the lookout for Little Blue Men. Language spoken... unknown.

He watched the news spiral away into the Walter WiFi for a minute or so. Satisfied that his duty was done. Then, as an afterthought, he added:

@NumberOneSilver: Robot needs assistance in Ooky Room 005. I've fallen and I can't get up.

He would later find out that they were Feegles and that Li'l Steve had managed to pick a fight with all of them at once. Also that they had imbibed anything in the manor that was alcoholic, anything mildly alcoholic, and anything that could have possibly been alcoholic but they could'nae tell, ye ken, because they was already a wee bitty pished.

He would also learn that the robots, collectively, were 'bigjob steamy scheemies' or 'scunners' depending on the mood of the Feegle and their alcohol-blood content[1] at the time.

They also had to be frisked, several times, before their ejection back into the realm from whence they came. It was amazing what Feegle could lay their hands on, and swear belonged to their great-great-grand-uncle, ye ken. Been in the fam'ly fer years, honest. Including some of Steve's 'loc beads and at least three of Rabbit's faces.

[1] With any other carbon-based lifeform, it would be blood-alcohol content.

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