Challenge #00991-B260: What is 'Painting'?

More about humans and their ridiculous "sight" -- Anon Guest

[AN: For those too busy to go look it up, the original instalment is here]

The pirates the crew had just soundly trounced had a treasure of art works in their lair. Including a baffling array of rectangular, flat objects. Lieutenant-Commander Jain, however, almost had a conniption.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful with those. They're paintings. Care-ful. That's art." Ze almost snatched a rectangle from Ensign Ch'koff's hands. "We have to put these in Stasis boxes immediately. The human flipped the rectangle around. "I think this is a Gauguin..."

"It's a rectangle," countered M'koi. "This is more of your 'vision' nonsense, isn't it?"

The human carefully sorted the rectangle into a stasis box already full of similar rectangles. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't believe in light, I get it. Just... trust me. This is worth a lot of Years to the right people."

M'koi snorted. "Huh. Superstitious nonsense. It feels like some kind of fraud."

"I guarantee that other humans will love you forever for delivering these intact to their territories. Well. Maybe except some of the Greater Deregulations. Um. Better head on up to one of the core trading centres like Hitizzy, Amalgam, or Hub Station."

K'rik smirked. An expression only Jain could detect without sound. "I thought I was the captain of the Bold Venture..."

Jain managed a nervous laugh. "Sorry, sir. I strongly advise we make our way towards a pan-galactic trading post and sell these to other humans, sir."

"Feh," M'Koi fluffed his fur dismissively. "How much can rectangles full of your mystical 'colour' cost, anyway?"

"For just this crate?" Jain patted the sealed box. "I reckon you could buy three more entire fleets for your alliance."

M'Koi sulked all the way to Hitizzy.

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