[AN: OK for future reference and my current incompetence, I’m using a checklist.
[ ] (In/Suc)cubus
[X] Cursed animal
[ ] Vampire
thank you for your patience with me. Oh, and haimaee? Here’s more]
When you get down to it, there’s lots of things worse than being turned into a lizard. Bearded dragon, to be precise. Just so you know.
You know, once the dysmorphia wore off and I got used to it… it’s not that bad.
I can sleep through the night. Easily.
And -sure- Animal Control got on my case. They were right to. They didn’t know I was a human being in a lizard body. And it’s really hard to communicate when you’re concentrating on feeder crickets. Trust me on this.
Crickets are actually very tasty. Don’t give me that face.
Animal shelters are colder than they seem. Promise me that, if you want an animal companion, you are going to adopt one from the local shelter. You’ll be doing them a favour.
And speaking of favours… I owe my life to the rangy goth who volunteered there. He ripped admin up and down about the size of my tank (too small) the variety in my diet (crickets or starve) and how often and to what temperature my heat rock should be heated (three times a day, and warm but not scorching).
He bought me, in the end. And under that Nine Inch Nails T-shirt? My boy is stacked. Lithe, lean and supple. Just the way I used to like them when I was human. How I still like them.
Trev didn’t have a tank, but he did have a heat lamp that he jury-rigged to a timer. And I’m free to roam pretty much where I like.
The hunting’s good. It’s a cheap flat and the neighbours aren’t exactly the cleanest people in the world. The cockroaches are very well fed.
What? I’m a lizard, now. Get over it.
And… there’s a little unexpected bonus.
He likes to be nude when he’s home.
I could watch him going about his daily business forever. And at night when the heat lamp goes off full-time? I get to snuggle up against those lovely warm pecs.
I don’t want him to kiss me. It would lead to way too many questions.