I am not the god of reason and understanding, I am the GOD OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING -Thor
The halo was a dead give-away, really. Something about a God in mortal form made a visible aura of light a definite thing.
May ran through ever possible conversation gambit in her head and finished up with, “So you’re a God, then.”
“Not a capital-G god,” said the divinity. “Not any more. Not enough followers, you see. Nobody really wants what I do.”
“And… what do you do?”
“I’m Delugius, the god of precipitation.”
“Precipitation,” May echoed.
“Rain, sleet, snow, hail… Anything that falls from the sky, I can do it.”
May thought about that as she chased the stains around on the diner’s countertop. “Does it have to be Earth’s sky?” she asked.
Delugius shrugged. “No idea. Never tried for any other sky.”
“I read somewhere that it rains diamonds on Neptune,” she said. “A tiny little local flurry would be kinda cool.”
“And it would raise suspicion. Plus I’m thinking they may not be your ideal gemstone kind of diamond.”
“Well see if you can make it rain one, then. Just a random raindrop.”
He leaned on the counter. “You got an offering?” he said. “It’s usually chicken for a light storm.”
“Got a chicken and mayo sandwich, nearly fresh.”
“Sold.”
“Do I chant any thing?”
“Eh, something in the order of a prayer for a light shower of diamonds from a Neptunian sky should do it. It’s been a while and I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.”
May fetched the sandwich. “O great got Delugius, please take this offering of chicken and bless me with a small shower of rain from a Neptunian sky.”
“Niiiiice,” said Delugius. He took a bite of the sandwich. “MMM! I can feel it working. Here goes, here goes, here goes…” Delugius winced, grunted, and a scattering of black crystals rained down in a circle around May.
“Good news, it works,” said May, sweeping them up. “Bad news, I would have to convince someone that these were actually diamonds.”
If she put them in a saucer, they looked like black grit. And they were a pretty good size, compared to any real diamond she’d actually seen.
“Even if we knew where it rained gemstones, I’m pretty sure it’d be out of my range. I think Neptune was pushing it.”
May ran a fingernail through the pile, watching the little black blobs scatter and fall in the saucer. “I wonder if I could sell a story to some dealer…”
“Just tell them the truth.”
May snorted. “Yeah, that wouldn’t work at all. We’re the only diner that caters to semidivine organisms.”
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