"Being able to talk to animals isn't as great a gift as you'd think."

(#00008)

Presented here for your education, a man who should have been aware of the axiom, “Be careful what you wish for.” John neglected to think first and wish later, and now he is destined to live the rest of his life… in the Twilight Zone.

John staggers down the street. It would be hard for the casual observer to guess that he had once been a doctor. Or even a man of high class. His eyes are ringed with the stigmata of sleeplessness. He mutters, seemingly to himself.

His most common disjointed phrase is, “You’re welcome.” It is oft-times sarcastic. His second most common phrase is, “excuse yourself.”

When asked who he is talking to, he stares at the questioner in puzzlement before asking in turn, “Can’t you hear the fleas?”

He is a walking wreck of a man, barely able to keep himself fed.

Strays follow him everywhere. He is very good at mumping food from every street vendor, restaurant and halfway house in London. But he, himself, is starving.

His friends, the mange-ridden, flea farms of London are all hungry. He can not ignore their cries.

All he wanted to do was talk to the animals.