“No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

He only wanted to do good. To improve things for everyone. To make the world a better place. There were just a few things that he needed to make sure of. For the good of everyone. Well. Almost everyone. There were some... bad elements... that needed dealing with.

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"Do you want to know how I can tell this is a terrible idea?"

"...how?"

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http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/154304792219/jumperjohn-you-know-that-one-post-about-humans

"You know that one post about humans being really durable compared to aliens and that one about humans being really cute to aliens?

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"I picked you up, even when you were covered in slime after he spat you out! You were technically vomit, and you were still the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on!" -- Anon Guest

"It's a good thing you told me about the uvula," she allowed, "but... a thing? Really?"

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[Person #1, in an actual, audible conversation]: [Person #2], I know you're frustrated, and I feel very ████ about that, but █████ ███████████ to ██████████ ██████ with ████████████ ██████████ ████ █████████

[Person #2]: STOP DOING THAT!!! -- RecklessPrudence

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Two people in danger

[Person #1] has a plan and gets them out of it

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:Merrily Doing A Thing:

:Pause:

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Dedicated to the Steam Calliope. -- Anon Guest

Rael was glad that the Archivaas who were going through the Vault of the 20th Century had finally decided to ship confusing items to Amalgam for analysis, rather than making Shayde, and himself, go all the way to it.

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Morris Dancers! To the tune of "Mrs Widgery's Lodger". -- Anon Guest

[AN: For anyone wondering what the flying heck - here you go. I apologise in advance for the mental trauma.]

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Wander and Sylvia

With Stanford Pines

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"Are you trying to seduce me!"

"That depends... is it working?" -- OohLookShiny

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It is common knowledge that humans crave companionship from cats and dogs. But one day the human rescues a pest animal, insisting the creature is their new companion. -- Anon Guest

The human pack-bonding instinct is a strong one. Always be certain that your human isn't bringing unwanted creatures back to your vessel with it. - From Every Cogniscent's Guide to Human Care and Maintenance.

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Dinosaurs in zero g -- OohLookShiny

Of all the things evolution in space has wrought, of all the new species discovered in long-abandoned space stations... This one definitely took the cake.

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Don't put my ai into something and expect me to be nice to you. -- SeaDragon1012

"Got'cha body," said Gunther, aka call-me-mister-damnit. "Fac'shree sec'nd."

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Someone who doesn't understand all the hoopla over puppies and kittens gets a more unconventional pet and loves it to pieces -- OohLookShiny

I'm not everyone. They say everyone feeds the Skitties on the sly. I don't. They say everyone will say 'hello' to a dog or coo over a kitten or a puppy. I don't.

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Courting gifts given in hope of acceptance, they vary from culture to species. -- Knitnan

On the mating rituals of Galactic Species...

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Phone numbers and... unxpected... results. Your choice, the FBI story, the Red Phone story, both in one, or one of both. -- RecklessPrudence

Not many people called her on the comms. Even Rael was satisfied by sending her Pings. Text messages somewhere between chats and emails, as she understood it. Some methods of communication had homogenised since the eighties.

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Where the scientific process and superstition collide. This analysis of plague doctor's wear.

"The scientific process made a bitchin’ proto-hazmat suit. And containment protocols!" -- RecklessPrudence

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A story of language, of cuttlefish and swans, and of oblivious humans. (Well, two stories. Your choice whether they count as one prompt or two) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Welp, we have successfully eliminated the gap count before Cashmas. Huzzah]

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A bird prompt for the Numidids: The story of Kevin-the-deathworlder and the deathworlder bird. (Even their birds are brutal!) -- RecklessPrudence

"...and even... photographers."

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